


String Theory.

by Nicolasgrimshaw



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Family, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, Fluff, Getting Back Together, I honestly have no idea what to tag, I'm horrible with this, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Louis wakes up from a coma and everything is different, M/M, Making Love, Making Up, Marriage, Mild Smut, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sad with a Happy Ending, Weddings, i mean it's not really smutty???, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-30 22:00:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6442624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicolasgrimshaw/pseuds/Nicolasgrimshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Louis wakes up from a two year coma due to a devastating car crash things might not be exactly as he left them. He's not quite sure which is worse, though, that his husband Harry has a fiancé or that he woke up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We'll just pretend that this is all medically accurate and feasible. I wrote this for fun so if you like it then great, if you don't then that's great too. 
> 
> Enjoy.

It all happened one sad, sad, sad afternoon. Louis was driving home from a day trip to visit his mother in Donny and Harry and their three year old daughter, Amoray, were waiting patiently for his return for dinner in Manchester. Then a drunk driver decided to drive on the wrong side of the highway and collide head on with him at 80 miles per hour. 

The other driver left with a fractured pelvis and a few broken ribs. Louis, on the other hand, couldn't count his fractured bones and was immediately rushed to a hospital via helicopter where doctors didn't even think he'd survive surgery. But he did. He just survived it unconsciously. 

He was in a coma. Had been for two years. That was over two years of his families waiting with anxiety to hear if he had survived the day or if he finally wilted like the young rosebud he was and kissed the earth goodbye. Over two years of empty reassurance from the doctors who told them to expect the worst, that he more than likely wouldn't wake up. A year of debating whether or not they let him continue living life on machines or just pulling the cord, but that little sliver of hope, the possibility that he could wake up from this, kept them, Jay, from ever actually pulling the cord. A year since Harry had even visited the hospital. A year since he just accepted the fact that Louis was never going to wake up and decided to move on with his life. Half a year since Jay was beginning to lose hope and faith. Half a year since all faith and hope in the situation was completely obsolete. 

Louis's immediate family and Harry's were the only ones who still came to the hospital. Harry did not. He hadn't been to the hospital, or heard from them, in a year. He had never even contacted his mom about it. About a year and a half ago he accepted the fact that Louis was gone and had no chance of waking up. So, after months of empty liquor bottles cluttering his counters and Amoray spending countless nights at Anne's he accepted the inevitable, started therapy, and decided to move on. It was a fucking hard decision to make, but he had his future and their daughters future to look out for...he had to be competent. The days passed slowly, though. So slowly. 

Jay was sitting in Louis's hospital room. It was a Friday afternoon and she was counting off the days she had spent wishing Louis would wake up. She prayed, prayed, prayed that today would be the day and she'd get to see his darling blue eyes sparkle in the sunshine again.  

Her phone started ringing softly and she picked it up without a single glance to see who it even was. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi Jay," It was Anne. Jay managed a small smile. 

"Oh, hi Anne, how are you?" She asked sweetly. She heard Anne sigh then laugh softly. 

"The sun is shining and the sky is clear. I can't complain. How are you?" Jay took one look at Louis, who looked so pale and thin, and she sighed solemnly. 

"I'm holding in there. Just...sitting in Louis's room praying." She somehow managed to still smile through all the dark uncertainty. Even the room seemed dim, but maybe that was just Jays emotions. 

"Any word from the doctors?" 

"Nothing new." She turned her head down towards her lap. 

"And how are the girls doing?" 

"They're doing well." She took a deep breath, feeling her eyes begin to water with tears, and let it out slowly. "You know, better. I think they've just accepted the fact that he more than likely won't wake up, but...I don't know, I'm trying to stay positive and optimistic, but...I'm just fading away here." 

"Well hey, whatever happens happens. I know it's probably hard to hear and accept when all a mother wants is for her children to be healthy and safe, but these things are just beyond our control. I pray for him everyday, though. I really do. And I know you do too. And I know the past two years have been...one stressful fiasco after the next, but one way or another this will end and you'll be able to see the road again." Jay wiped her eyes with a tissue that was already crumpled in her hand.  
"Why don't you come over tonight for dinner?" Anne suggested in a gentle tone.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to put you out in any way. I'd probably just be blubbering the whole time." She laughed forcefully. 

"Then I'll blubber with you. Come on, it'll be something fun." Jay drew in a slow breath before nodding her head. 

"Okay then, thank you." 

"You don't have to thank me, just show up at 6 and we'll be even." She joked lightly making Jay laugh. 

"See you then." Anne smiled and they parted with sweet goodbyes before hanging up their phones. Jay placed hers in the dip of her lap and folded her hands together, sighing somberly as her eyes fell on Louis. 

And so she sat there for another forty five minutes counting the ceiling tiles once, twice, three times and wondering how old the linoleum was. Watching Louis was like watching paint dry, except when you're watching paint dry you're not waiting for a miracle to happen. 

Another five minutes had passed and Jay was contemplating heading home when Louis's finger started moving in a slow tapping motion. Her eyes widened and her heart had pretty much stopped in her throat when he made a small fist before very slowly opening his eyes. She covered her hand over her mouth. 

"Louis," She gasped moving to the edge of his hospital bed. He just continued to blink slowly, adjusting to the brightness slowly. Once adjusted, he turned his head and peered at his mother who had warm, happy tears rolling down the side of her face. 

"Am I in a hospital?" He asked hoarsely. All she could do was nod in shock. "Why?" He looked around. 

"You were in a car crash. A drunk driver hit you head on on the highway and you were airlifted here." She wasn't sure if what she had just said was even registering with him, or if he even remembered. He just looked stoic. 

"Is my car okay?" Jay laughed. She just laughed because for over two years stress and anxiety held her voice hostage, but now that Louis was waking up, already awake, and speaking she was allowed to let those years of tension roll right off her back and laugh. And it felt pretty damn good. 

"No, I'm sorry sweetie, your car was totaled." Louis still hadn't shown any emotion whatsoever. He just looked drowsy and worn out despite being unconscious for two years. 

"Goddammit, now I have to get a new one." Jay started laughing boisterously again, feeling so free and enthralled. She reached out and took his hand in hers. "Did you tell Harry I was going to be late for dinner?" Jay just smiled sweetly, squeezing his hand. 

"Sweetheart...you've been in a coma for around two years." His eyes widened at her in bewilderment. "Or they called it a persistent vegetative state, but basically you've been in here for over two years." 

"I'm tired." Jay laughed again softly. 

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so glad you finally woke up." She wiped her bleary eyes before leaning over and kissing his cheek softly. "Oh! I need to go get a doctor!" She practically jumped up from her chair and hurried to the door. Louis just swallowed dryly and glanced around the room. He sat himself up again then took a deep breath, yawning. He glanced around at the machines beside his bed. 

Suddenly Jay came striding back into the room with a doctor walking in behind her with a smile. He glanced up at the doctor then glanced over at his mother. 

"Has it seriously been two years or are you just messing with me?" He asked making her laugh. 

"No, I was being absolutely serious." Louis just sighed then glanced up at the doctor. 

"Is she being serious?" The doctor smiled, nodding. 

"Yes, we didn't think you were going to make it and the fact that you're able to speak full comprehensible sentences is amazing." Louis furrowed his eyebrows at the man. 

"Am I not supposed to be able to do that?" 

"Well, you were in a pretty nasty car accident, it was a miracle you even survived surgery." He explained. "And then you were in a coma which typically only lasts two to four weeks-"

"But I was out for two years." He nodded. 

"Exactly. You were in what we call a persistent vegetative state, it's technically the same exact thing as a coma, except it can last longer in cases such as yours. Except, typically, with the greater the brain damage the longer they last. You were out for a little over two years, we were expecting you to suffer from...more traumatic brain damage."

"Isn't your job to prevent that from happening?"

"If you can ask that question then obviously we did our job." He joked back with a smile. Louis finally cracked a small smile and the doctor turned to Jay. "Okay, well, I will be back in a few minutes. We're going to have to run some tests just to see how his motor skills are, if there is any damage in the brain, just some basic stuff." Jay just nodded, she was all smiles. 

"Yes, okay, thank you so much." The doctor smiled then nodded. He turned and left the room. Louis turned to his mom as she sat down. 

"Where's Harry? Is he here?" He asked eagerly. "And little bird?" Jay drew in a slow breath and pursed her lips together. 

"They're not here, sweetheart."

"Well, can you call him then? I-I thought they were here. Amoray was reciting the alphabet to me." Jay looked at him curiously, her eyebrows furrowing together in question. 

"That was a long time ago. You...you actually remember that?" Louis shrugged. 

"I don't know, yeah. I mean...I don't know." He shrugged again. Jay just shrugged back. "Can you call him?" 

"I can try, I mean...he hasn't exactly been here in quite awhile." Now it was Louis's turn to give her a questionable look. 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...he stopped visiting the hospital awhile ago-"

"Why?"

"I-I don't know, it was probably getting too hard for him-"

"Well can you call him? Or-Or does my phone still work?" Jay sat up, picking up her phone while she nodded. 

"I will try to contact him." Louis nodded back, taking a deep, deep, deep breath. He watched as she stood up and held the phone to her ear, pacing over to a corner by the window. Louis glanced around again, waiting patiently to hear his mother greet Harry then listen to the conversation unfold. But nope. 

"Hi Harry, it's Jay, but I have some really exciting news, Louis woke up!" She exclaimed joyously. "So, you know, he's eager to see you. If you get this then hopefully we'll see you soon in the hospital. Hope you're doing well, bye." She hung up the phone then turned and paced back to her chair, taking a seat. 

"So how is little bird doing? How old is she now?" 

"She's five. I believe she is doing fine, but...I haven't exactly seen her recently." Louis just stared back at her in confusion. 

"What's changed since I've been in here?" He asked in confusion. "Are-Are you still in Donny? Oh my Goodness, how are the girls? Are they here?" 

"We moved here last year to be closer to the hospital. The girls aren't at the hospital, but why don't I text them and then I can answer your question." Louis nodded and Jay sent a quick text off to Lottie before just placing it facedown on her lap. "Well, when you first got into the crash you were rushed here and went immediately into surgery and they were surprised you had survived considering the amount of blood you lost, but you were still unconscious and they told us you were in a coma." She explained. "So I stayed here and stayed at a hotel until just deciding that it would be more convenient if we moved here that way I could be close to you and the girls as well." Louis nodded slowly. "And for the first six months, you know, Harry and Amoray would come by often, as would Anne, who I still need to call, and...it was just hard on everyone. And after the first year Harry just stopped visiting and contacting me, he's even withdrew from Anne." 

"So he hasn't visited me in a year?" Jay nodded solemnly. 

"I mean, as far as I'm concerned, he hasn't." Louis just nodded, unsure of how to feel. Did he feel hurt? Kind of. Did he feel let down? Kind of. Did Harry just stop visiting him because he gave up on him? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that the only person he wanted to see was Harry and their daughter. He was still feeling hazy about the whole idea of being unconscious for over two years and just then having woken up. 

"Why not?" He forced himself to ask because he wasn't just going to listen to his mom say that his own husband had stopped visiting and not ask why. Jay shrugged her shoulders, her sweet face giving him a solemn, sympathetic look. 

"I don't know sweetie. Like I said, I think it just got to be too hard for him. The doctors didn't think you were ever going to wake up. It really took a toll on him." Louis just pursed his lips together and sighed. 

"Oh." Jay opened her mouth to say something, but then the doctor and two nurses walked into the room. 

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked him kindly. Louis just looked up at him and shrugged. 

"Like I just woke up from two year nap." They all laughed and he wasn't exactly sure what was so funny. He was making a sarcastic joke, but he didn't think it was funny enough to laugh at. 

"Well, we are going to start some general tests. We're going to start off with just a CT scan to get a look at your brain and see if there's any leftover damage and maybe do an MRI as well." He explained. 

"Sounds like a party." He grumbled unenthusiastically. And so Jay watched as Louis was prepped and ready to go as his bed was rolled out of the room. Test, after test, after test, and question, after question, after question, he was slowly brought back into reality. A reality he was foreign to. 

Everyday it seemed like he was greeted by a new parade of people he didn't recognize, and he wasn't sure if that was because he didn't remember them or just not know them. His sisters came, Anne and Gemma came, a majority of his old friends visited him, even some of his old students came to visit him! How did they know he was awake?

It had been five days and the only people he wanted to see, but still hadn't visited, were Harry and Amoray. He just wanted to go home and see them since apparently no one could get ahold of him. Not even the hospital! 

It had been a week and a half since he woke up and he was eating on his own, breathing on his own, and even going to the bathroom on his own. He was more than happy to be released from the IV that left a pretty nice bruise on his arm. He still had yet to ditch the itchy hospital gown. 

"Can I go yet? I want to go home." He was getting impatient! He just wanted to leave. He was perfectly healthy, he had control over his motor movements thanks to the physical therapy he was forced to go through, and he had no physical complications from brain damage. He was as good as ever! 

"I'd say tomorrow you should be good to go." He smiled happily. 

"Good." The doctor turned to Jay who was standing on the opposite side of the bed from him. 

"So, as I'm sure you're glad to hear, he is able to recover with full awarenesses and be completely unaffected by this."

"I am overjoyed by that, but if he doesn't have any brain damage then why was he in that...vegetative state or coma for such a long time when you said they last longer if the patient has more brain damage?" The doctor just shrugged. 

"Guess God was on your side." He offered a sweet smile making Jay smile back. The doctor nodded, wished them a good afternoon, then turned and left the room. 

"Only one more day, think you can wait?" She joked taking a seat on the chair that had become her second home. Louis looked at her before laughing softly and shrugging his shoulders. He didn't think he could wait. 

"I don't know, I just want to go home and see Harry and little bird." He admitted with rosy cheeks. "Hopefully I don't scare the shit out of him, though, since apparently he doesn't pick up his phone anymore...," He pursed his lips together, swallowing thickly. He glanced down at his hands and started tracing the tip of his finger over a scar on his wrist. He had a few new scars now. Finding them should be fun. 

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be absolutely thrilled to see you." Louis smiled again, his cheeks turning pink like a fresh, spring rosebud. "Who wouldn't be?" She teased making him smile humbly. 

So the next day, Louis changed out of his hospital gown into some clothes Jay had brought and he was officially signed out of the hospital. He walked with her out to her car, his keys clutched tightly in his hand. 

"I feel really nervous." He admitted half way through the drive. 

"About what?"

"About seeing Harry and Amoray. What if she doesn't even recognize me? I mean, if it's been two years...a lot can change in two years. Hell, a lot can happen in three seconds apparently." He exclaimed watching the different cars, buildings, and nature they drove past. 

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm sure he'll be over joyed to see you, as well as Amoray. She always asked how long it'd be until you woke up when she visited." Jay recalled fondly. Louis just managed a small smile, but his heart was still in his throat it seemed. 

Jay pulled into the driveway of his house and he immediately smiled up at it. He thought back to when he and Harry first bought it. 

"I'll see you some time tomorrow, okay sweetie? How about we go for lunch?" Louis glanced at her then nodded. "I love you." 

"I love you too, mum." She grinned. 

"Tell Harry I said hi and give Amoray a kiss for me." Louis nodded as he opened the car door and climbed out onto the driveway. 

"Will do. See you later." He closed the door and rushed up the porch to the door. Jay just watched him with fondness as she pulled back onto the road and drove off. 

He pulled out his keys and rubbed the house key between his fingers a few times before reaching out and sticking it in the lock. A shiver went down his spine when he heard the lock click. With a mixture of nerves, excitement, and adrenaline he opened the door and walked inside eagerly. The dust was shrugged off all the old memories he had tied to the house. 

"Harry?" He called out loudly. "Amoray?" He glanced around the foyer then reached out, placing his keys up on the empty key rack. "I'm home...unless you aren't." He walked in further, glancing around the cozy home he remembered so fondly. He walked forward then turned into the kitchen, stepping over in front of the refrigerator that was pinned full of colorful drawings, pictures, and random magnets. 

He pulled off the magnet and picked up the school picture of Amoray underneath it. God, she looked so grown up. Louis's eyes watered with happy tears as he gazed down at the photo. He pinned up the picture again and glanced at another picture of Harry with Amoray playing in the snow. He smiled again, he was sure his heart was going to explode. 

He turned and wandered out of the kitchen, passed the dining room, and down into the living room area. He immediately went to look at the pictures on the wall, the pictures he specifically remembered hanging with Harry the first night they had spent in their home. It was their wedding pictures, but the pictures in their frames now weren't their wedding photos. There were some of Amorays baby photos, school photos, and some other pictures of her with Harry. He smiled at the pictures, but then pressed his lips together and turned, walking around the room. 

He walked back up to the kitchen and dining room area, turned into the front room and foyer place, then went straight up the stairs in front of the foyer. Once on the second floor he took a peek in Amorays room which was painted purple and full of toys, colored sheets of paper, and even more toys. He smiled. 

Then he turned and went to his and Harry's room which hadn't changed a bit. Except for the bedspread which was a hideous green color that really off put the forest green walls. He walked over to his side of the bed and looked at the things on top of his nightstand. His eyebrows furrowed together. Nothing on his nightstand was anything he remembered even owning. In fact, he never remembered ever having anything on top of his nightstand except his frame of him and Harry, a picture of him and Harry in the hospital with Amoray, and a book. 

Now there weren't any pictures on his nightstand, but instead a watch that didn't belong to him, some loose change, two movie ticket stubs, headphones, and other miscellaneous items. Louis bit the inside of his cheek. He walked around the bed and looked at Harry's nightstand. He was supposed to have a picture of them from their uni graduation, but nope. Instead there was a picture of Harry, Amoray, and some other gentleman with dark hair and dark eyes. 

He stood up straight and walked over to the closet. He opened the door before frowning. Where the hell was all his clothes? Now he was feeling a bit uneasy, but that wasn't going to deter his excitement to see Harry and Amoray. 

Suddenly he heard the noise of the garage door open and a part of him froze. He felt like he was still in a dream! He stepped out into the hallway and paused near the top of the stairs. 

He heard the door open and then Harry's voice filled the air making him smile. Oh, how he missed Harry's sweet voice. 

"Okay, little bird," Louis was almost so excited he couldn't keep quiet! The rustle of plastic bags made him believe he was coming home from the grocery store. "Zach will be home soon and you know he doesn't approve of dessert before dinner so you can only have a little ice cream." 

"But I want a lot." He heard Amoray reply and Louis's heart just about burst with excitement, fondness, everything of the lot. 

"I know you do, but you can't have a lot. You may have a little or none at all, it's your choice." Louis took a deep breath and started walking down the stairs slowly, feeling thankful that the stairwell wasn't exactly visible from the kitchen. He could hear Harry moving around the kitchen and when he stepped down from the stairs and started over towards the kitchen slowly Amoray came into view. 

Her head immediately snapped his way and she looked stunned at first. Now he had no idea if Amoray was even going to remember him considering she was only three when he got in the crash, but when a smile spread across her face a smile spread across his face and he opened his arms. 

"Daddy!" Louis was most definitely not expecting the scene to play that way. He picture Amoray cowering away from him, not recognizing him. But nope. She ran across the floor and jumped into his arms. Louis lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist, and hugged her tightly. 

"Hi little bird." He greeted joyfully. He stepped forward and almost ran into Harry who stepped out of the kitchen with a bewildered look which only turned even more bewildered when he saw Louis. 

"Oh my God, Louis." He gasped. Louis just smiled at him. Amoray tucked her head on Louis's shoulder. 

"Didn't you get the voicemails?"

"What the hell are you doing here? When...When did you wake up? How long...," Harry scratched his forehead. 

"I woke up, like, a week and a half ago and was released today. We tried calling you, but you never picked up or called back." Harry still looked like he had seen a ghost. 

"How-How did you get here?" Louis took a deep breath and looked at Harry questionably. He knelt down and placed Amoray on her feet. 

"My mum drove me here." He answered sternly and crossed his arms. "I know I might've surprised you, but, I mean, c'mon, I've been in a coma for two years and you can't even give me a hug?" Harry cracked a small smile. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just...really fucking-"

"Daddy swore!" Louis beamed down at Amoray and Harry just rolled his eyes, ruffling the top of her head playfully. 

"I'm just...really shocked right now, I thought...I just thought you were...going to die." He explained in a softer tone. 

"Well I didn't and I'm home now and I'm not paralyzed or have any brain damage so...yeah." He smiled brightly. Harry didn't look as enthusiastic as Louis was hoping. "Can I maybe have a hug?" He asked making Harry force a smile. He stepped closer, opening his arms, and Louis stepped forward, hugging him tightly. "I missed you." 

"I missed you too." Harry replied softly. 

"I have a few questions, though." Louis stepped back, crossing his arms, and Harry looked down at him curiously. "I was just wondering where all our wedding photos went?" Harry swallowed thickly. "And all my clothes? I mean, I was looking in the closet and nothing of mine was in there." He just nodded slightly, panicking flashing through his eyes. "And what's with all the crap on my nightstand?" 

"I have to talk to you." He stated solemnly making Louis's throat tighten. "Amoray, why don't you go upstairs for a bit."

"But you said ice cream." She pouted. 

"I'll get you some ice cream in a little, okay? Just give us a few minutes to talk." She just nodded before turning and running up the stairs. When the door slammed shut Harry turned to Louis.

"Is something wrong?" Harry took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Okay, let me talk and don't say anything until I'm finished, okay?" Louis just nodded unsurely and narrowed his eyes at Harry. "Okay, so, when you very first got into the crash the doctors warned us that you might not make it through surgery, but you did, except you were in a coma. They said it was very, very unlikely that you'd live. They said comas only typically last two to four weeks so the first six months of your coma was extremely hard on me, I ended up turning to alcohol, actually. So, I'm a recovering alcoholic, I've been sober for a year and a half now." Louis grit his teeth. "The doctors still said it was very, very unlikely that you'd live and that we should prepare for the worst so I started seeing a therapist and I was able to accept the fact that you living was extremely slim and that I needed to move on with my life-"

"So that's why you didn't come to the hospital for a year." Louis snapped in annoyance. Harry cringed, nodding. 

"Yeah." He swallowed thickly. "So, I moved on." Louis rolled his eyes. Suddenly his excitement, nerves, and joy was replaced with uncertainty, rising anxiety, and hurt. 

"And what the hell does moving on mean? Does that mean erasing the fact that I ever existed?"

"No, I just...I met someone." Louis's eyes widened at him, first in shock and then in anger. "His name is Zach and he was my sponsor for when I was a part of my twelve step program and, you know, we started dating and...we're engaged." Louis took a deep breath and uncrossed his arms before placing them on his hips. 

"Well I hope your husband doesn't ruin the wedding-"

"Louis-"

"What the fuck, Harry!" He slapped Harry hard in the chest when he tried to take a step forward, reaching out to him. "You can't fucking get married unless you plan on committing bigamy!" 

"Well, we haven't actually started planning anything at all yet-"

"You're actually going to marry him?" Harry opened his mouth to say something then just closed it, then opened it, then closed it again, like he was trying to say something, but he didn't know what yet.

"I don't know, you're throwing me off! I thought you were going to die!"

"Well now I wish I had! How could you just give up on me like that?"

"I was just trying to do what was best for me and Amoray-"

"And getting fucking engaged when you're already married is what was best?"

"No, what was best was just accepting that you wouldn't live and moving on-"

"Well surprise! I didn't fucking die!" Harry just took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He tilted his head down to pinch the bridge of his nose. "How...could you do that-"

"I thought you were-"

"I get it!" Louis interrupted. "I just mean...how." Harry took another deep breath. 

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry for what?" Louis interrupted again sternly. He was so fucking livid he couldn't think of what to say. Actually, he wasn't even sure what he feeling. He felt...furious? Hurt? Numb? He wasn't sure if what Harry had even said was registering with him. Harry had a fiancé. He was engaged to another man. He just figured Louis was going to die. He gave up on him. "What's supposed to happen now? Are we going to divorce so you can marry your little fucking boyfriend or continue off life with your husband? The one you already promised to be there for through sickness and health, for better or worse, till death do us part?" Harry was too flustered for words. 

"I...I don't know." 

"How the hell can you not know!" 

"I just don't! I'm still in fucking shock right now!" Louis scoffed, shaking his head. His eyes glossed over with tears. 

"So I assume those are his clothes in the closet and his things on my nightstand? How fucking long has he been living here?" Harry shrugged. 

"Four...five months." Louis grit his teeth, shaking his head. 

"And how long have you been together?" He asked bitterly. 

"Around...a year or so." Louis scoffed. 

"Well where the hell am I supposed to go, then? I don't have money, or a car, or a place to stay." 

"What about your mums place?"

"Do you want to go run and tell her you have a fiancé who lives with you which is why I can't stay?" Harry reddened, shaking his head. "Didn't think so. Does your mum know you have a fiancé?" Harry shook his head again. "Wow." 

"You can stay here...if you'd like-"

"Thank you for offering to let me stay in my home. It's not like I'm the one who signed all the papers for the house." He snapped in annoyance. "Do you realize how fucking awkward that would be?"

"Do you want me to tell you that you can't stay here?" Louis rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "So are you staying here?"

"I don't have anywhere else to go, so yeah." He snapped. 

"Okay then." They stood there awkwardly. Harry just shoved his hands into his pocket and stared down at the floor. Louis took a deep breath. He couldn't believe this was even happening, he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, thrown to the dirt, and stomped on by Harry. 

"I'll go up and get little bird. I want to talk to her." Louis took a step back, drawing in a shaky breath as he slowly rose a finger. "This...was not how it was supposed to happen. You better figure something out because...because this is in your hands and on your conscience." He turned and strode up the stairs. Suddenly he didn't feel home anymore. 

He went to Amorays door and knocked gently before opening it slowly. She turned from a dollhouse she was seated in front of and stood up. 

"Daddy!" She ran over to him again. He immediately felt better, only temporarily, and knelt down, welcoming her into his arms. "Where were you? Papa said you were taking a big nap and that we couldn't disturb you." Louis laughed softly, his hands gentle around her waist. 

"Well, I was in the hospital in a coma which is basically just like taking a big, long nap." He explained with a smile despite there being nothing joyful about comas. "But I woke up and I'm ready to be here for you again." 

"Good, I missed you." Louis beamed at her. 

"I missed you too, little bird." He kissed her cheek making her blush. 

"I drawed you pictures. Papa said I could give them to you when you wake up." She walked over to a short table and Louis followed after her curiously. "Here!" She thrust a pile of pictures in his hands making him laugh. He knelt down again and she stood in front of him, peering down at the drawings as he looked at them. "This is you," She pointed to a scribbled stick person drawn in blue. "This is papa," She pointed to a green scribbled stick person next to the blue one. "And this is me!" She pointed to a particular purple scribbled stick person beside the one supposed to be Harry. 

"Wow, this looks amazing, little bird." He beamed down at it. 

"And-And this one-" She pulled the top sheet off to reveal the next drawing. "This is just you and papa, I drawed it for him, but he told me I should save it for you to put up in your office." 

"I will definitely pin this up when I get to my old desk." Louis was an art teacher. He might have to start searching for a new job...and husband...but as of now Amoray was the only one on his side supplying him happiness. She smiled at him excitedly. 

"This is a picture of the beach." She pulled off the top drawing again and grinned at the picture. "Papa said you loved the beach." Louis nodded. 

"I do, I love the beach. We'll have to go sometime." He suggested eliciting a wider smile from her. He paged through the rest of the drawings. "These are really good, you drew them all for me?" She nodded. "Thank you, little bird, I can't wait to find a place to hang these." He compiled them all into one little neat pile and placed them on the table. "I'm gonna keep them here, though, until I find a place, okay?" Amoray nodded. 

"Since you're home now does that mean Zach is leaving?" Louis's heart sunk to his stomach. 

"Well, I'm not exactly sure." He told her honestly. "You know, papa didn't exactly handle me being in the hospital that well and because of that we're going to have to make a very serious decision." 

"You're not going to leave again, are you?" Louis shook his head. 

"I will never leave you again. I'll always be here for you." She smiled. "Now how about we go get you that ice cream papa promised?" She nodded her head and Louis picked her up because he just hadn't gotten to hold her enough. He sauntered down the stairs with her and into the kitchen where Harry was putting away groceries and throwing away plastic bags. 

"So, little bird, you still want some ice cream?" Harry asked as Louis set her down on the kitchen counter. She nodded eagerly. He smiled at her and Louis just leaned against the adjacent counter with his arms crossed. He wasn't exactly sure what to do or even what to say. He didn't want to talk to Harry. He didn't even want to look at him! 

Harry placed a small bowl and spoon down before opening the freezer and taking out a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Louis watched him with despise as he opened it up, took the ice cream scoop from the drawer, then scooped out one spoonful of ice cream into the bowl plus half a scoop. Then he placed the spoon in the bowl and pushed the bowl towards her. 

"Oh, come on Haz, you can give her more than that." He exclaimed stepping forward. "That's, like, nothing practically!" 

"Um, no, I can't. Zach doesn't like her having sweets before dinner." Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

"You're letting Zach parent our child? He is not her father. Not even close. I'm her father, even more than you at that." Harry grit his teeth at him, gripping the ice cream scoop in his hand tightly. 

"That's an unfair argument. Don't use that as something you can hold against me, okay?" He asked sternly. "I'm her father too and I say she can't have any more. This is enough." 

"Well, we have to celebrate me being alive somehow so why not just give her a little more?" Harry glared at him, shaking his head.

"This is enough." 

"For a growing girl, it is not-"

"We're talking about ice cream here."

"Exactly. Dairy is important-"

"From milk and cheese, not ice cream!" 

"Why can't you be more fun?"

"You don't just get to waltz in here and be the fun dad."

"I think I can. Little bird, do you think it's okay if I'm the fun dad?" Harry scoffed as she laughed, nodding her head. 

"Of course she's going to say yes to that!" 

"So it's unanimous, she can have a little more." Louis reached across the counter and pulled the tub of ice cream closer. He held out his hand for the ice cream scoop, but Harry didn't hand it over. 

"No she can't!"

"I'm sorry Harry, but it was unanimous." He reached out quickly and snatched the scoop from his hand making Harry flame with anger. 

"I'm vetoing-"

"Well you aren't the president, now are you?" Louis joked scooping out another large scoop and dropping it into her bowl. Harry sighed, shaking his head one, two, three times at him as he turned and dropped the scoop in the sink and sealed the tub closed. "Let's go little bird." Amoray picked up her bowl and Louis picked her up. 

"She has to eat at the kitchen table-"

"You know, I don't remember you having such a giant stick up your ass." Louis interrupted walking passed the dining room area. 

"I just don't want her to spill anything on the carpet."

"You need to loosen up-" Louis had stepped down into the living room when the garage door, which led into the living room, opened as the infamous Zach waltzed in. He froze in front of Louis and Amoray. They both looked each other up and down. 

"Do I know you?"

"Do I know you?" Louis quipped back. 

"Who are you?" He stepped closer. "Amie-"

"Her name is Amoray."

"I know that." Zach replied curtly. He was tall and broad, like Harry, but he had short, tousled, dark hair and dark brown eyes. "Who are you?" 

"I'm her father, Louis Tomlinson-Styles." He just gave Louis a skeptical look. 

"Harry!" He stormed past Louis and up into the kitchen area. "Who the hell is this?" He placed his bag on the counter then crossed his arms. Louis had placed Amoray on the couch and she was eating her ice cream contently while watching a recording of SpongeBob when he waltzed back up into the kitchen. 

"You know how when we first met I told you about my husband who was in a car crash and currently in a coma?" He nodded. "Well...he woke up." Zach's jaw dropped at him.  

"I beg your pardon?" Harry just shrugged. 

"I woke up from my coma, you dumbass, what's not to understand?" Zach turned to him sharply, scoffing. 

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"He's staying here-"

"Staying here?"

"Yeah, unlike you I'm the one who signed the mortgage for this house." Louis retorted. 

"You can't stay here-"

"Too late. I already really hit it off with Amoray, she'd be devastated if I left." He replied sarcastically making Harry laugh and Zach glared at him. 

"You have no authority here-"

"What the fucking hell are you talking about? I'm the one who owns this house with Harry. I am Amorays biological father. I am Harry's husband." 

"You've also been gone for over two years, you can't just pick up where you left off-"

"Well, I think I could if you weren't here-"

"Okay, this is petty-" 

"No, this is absolutely ridiculous." Louis snapped at Harry who was looking all the more flushed. 

"I think you better leave." Zach said sternly. Louis just rolled his eyes at him. 

"You think I'm going to listen to you?" Zach was getting flustered now. 

"Tell him he can't stay here!" He practically shouted at Harry. Harry just took a deep breath and hesitated. Louis crossed his arms and gave Harry the look. The look Harry dubbed "the ever famous Tomlinson death glare" because if looks could kill...Harry would be long dead. 

"You want to tell me I can't stay in my home, hubby?" He snapped sarcastically. "The one you and I bought together after being married for three months?" Harry was getting a headache. 

"You can't guilt trip him-"

"That's not what I'm fucking doing, I'm simply stating facts. He loved me first-"

"And now he loves me-"

"Well you aren't the one legally married to him now, are you?"

"You think that still means something now?" Zach sneered making Louis flame. 

"Well I'd like to think so, right Harry?" They both glared at him, waiting to hear something from him. 

"I need an Aleve." He marched out of the kitchen and towards the stairs before Zach stormed after him furiously. 

"You can't just run away from this!" He yelled stomping up the stairs. And then there was a door slam and muffled voices that Louis couldn't quite make out what they were saying. They sure were loud, though. 

Louis sighed to himself. He turned and waltzed back into the living room where Amoray was knelt down in front of the coffee table eating her ice cream with her eyes trained on the television. Louis sat down on the end of the couch with another sigh. Louis glanced up at the ceiling as the Harry and Zach's voices only seemed to get louder. 

"Are papa and Zach fighting?" Amoray asked turning over her shoulder. Louis sat forward, shaking his head.

"They're just having a little argument." 

"Why?" Louis took a deep breath. 

"Well, like I said, papa has to make a big decision and I'm sure they're just talking about it." She just nodded then turned back to the TV. Louis bit his lip and sat back. 

The yelling soon ended and Harry returned to the kitchen to finish putting things away. Amoray had returned her dishes to the sink before running off to her room. Louis just sat on the couch bored to tears practically. He had no idea what to do and talking to Harry surely wasn't an option. 

As time slowly mocked him, Harry started making dinner around 5:30. He just made mac and cheese and he had to admit that it felt weird setting out four plates at the table. He felt weird about the fact that he'd be eating dinner at the table with his husband and his current fiancé. God, he'd rather just die. 

He had absolutely no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. Does he just go through with a divorce so he can move forward with Zach or does he just let Zach go and continue life with Louis? He figured...he actually didn't know what he figured. He was confused and uncertain and had absolutely no idea what the fucking hell he was going to do. 

Amoray was placed in her chair as Zach and Harry sat down on adjacent sides of the table. Louis sat down awkwardly across from Harry. It was silent. Everyone hesitantly picked up their silverware. 

Louis glanced around the table only to find Harry staring directly down at his plate as well as Zach. Amoray was spooning some mac and cheese into her mouth, glancing at Louis who smiled at her. 

"Gee, who died?" He asked sarcastically. "Certainly not me." He added jokingly making Amoray laugh. Louis smiled at her again. "See, little bird thinks I'm funny." He took a bite out of his piece of bread. He wanted to die. "So, how was everyone's day?" He asked sarcastically. "Hey, remember when we'd say our highs and lows of the day? Why don't we do that?" He suggested before turning to Amoray. "Little bird, what was your high and what was your low of the day?" 

"You coming home!" Was all she exclaimed cheerfully. Louis beamed her before turning to Harry. 

"Harry?" He glanced up at him, his expression looking unamused. 

"My high was finally landing another account. My low was the grocery store being crowded." He replied curtly. 

"Oh yeah, how's the company? Did you ever get that promotion?" Harry nodded. 

"Yeah, I did actually." 

"Ooh, so you're a big shot executive now." He teased with a small smile making Harry smile in return. 

"Yep, that's me." He laughed softly. Louis smiled down at his plate.

"So, Zachary, what about your high and low?" 

"Pass." Louis smirked. "And it's just Zach." 

"Got it, just Zach." He replied sarcastically. "Well, I guess it's my turn. My high was leaving the hospital because damn did that feel pretty good. My low was walking through the front door." He pressed his lips together. 

"Feel free to walk right on out-"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Zachary?" 

"Yes, I would. And it's just Zach, like I already said." He replied sternly before wiping his lips with his napkin. 

"Sorry if I'm inconveniencing you-wait, just kidding, I don't care." 

"Well, it's not just me, it's everyone-"

"Oh really? You can speak for everyone? Even Amoray?" Zach grit his teeth, clenching his fork tightly. 

"Harry?" 

"This isn't appropriate table talk." Zach rolled his eyes in the utmost annoyance and it made Louis smile softly. 

"Fuckin' ridiculous." Zach murmured under his breath and turned his head back down. 

"Oh, quick question because I haven't checked, my art stuff," He glanced at Harry. "Is it still in tact in the spare room?" He noticed the way Harry flushed, swallowing thickly.

"It...is not." Louis bit the inside of his cheek. He shot a quick glance towards Zach who had a quaint little smirk on his lips that made Louis just want to punch him in the fucking face. "I cleared it out and just made it into an actual spare bedroom." 

"What the hell are you smirking at?" Louis asked Zach furiously just making him light up even more as he wiped his lips again with his napkin. 

"Nothing." Louis turned back to Harry. 

"And was it your idea or his to do that?" 

"It was ours." Louis rolled his eyes. 

"So where is my art supplies?" He deadpanned. Harry still hadn't looked at him. 

"What I saved is in the attic." 

"What did you get rid of?"

"God, I don't know, Louis. It was over a year ago, you think I remember that?" Louis gave him a completely unamused looked and grit his teeth together. 

"I think I asked a simple and normal question, don't get all pissy with me what you planned on happening...didn't happen." 

"Same goes for you." Zach retorted.

"I don't believe I was talking to you." Louis shot back raising his voice slightly. 

"Well I don't care who you were talking to, but you get to be all pissy too because things you planned to happen didn't happen either." Louis grit his teeth at him. 

"Well I wasn't fucking talking-"

"Language." Harry warned sternly giving him a scolding look. Louis just rolled his eyes. 

"I wasn't talking to you, Zachary-"

"Call me Zachary one more time and I swear to God." Zach warned clutching his fork tightly in his hand. Louis just smirked. He was completely wrapped up in this tiff he was having with Zach, and partially Harry, that he had forgotten that his five year old daughter was also sitting at the table witnessing it all unfold before her. 

"What was that, Zachary? What are you possibly going to do?" Zach slammed his fist on the table frightening Amoray to the point of tears. Everyone turned to her, realization setting in. Louis was quick to set his silverware down and move from his chair to hers, beating Harry to the punch. "Oh, c'mere little bird." He picked her up and he hugged him tightly, burying her face in his neck. "Shame on you." He said to Zach as he walked passed the table. 

"You're one to fuckin' talk!" Zach shouted back resulting in Louis just flipping him off as he mounted the stairs. Harry just placed his silverware down and turned his head down, reaching up the rub his temples in hopes of relieving his headache that hadn't subsided since finding Louis alive and in their home. "You're actually married to that fucking jackass?" Harry pushed his chair back, standing up in aggravation. 

"Don't talk about him like that." He replied softly before picking up his plate and walking it over to the trash can where he scraped his leftovers into it. Zach just scoffed at him from his chair at the table. 

"Are you actually defending him?" 

"I would say the same to him if he said the same about you." Harry said as he placed his dishes in the sink. 

"So you're saying I'm no better than him?" 

"Oh my God, why are you so threatened by him?"

"Well it's not exactly reassuring to come home and find out that your fiancé's husband who was supposed to die is now awake and staying here."

"Where is he supposed to go?"

"How about his parents? There has to be somewhere besides here." Harry placed his hands on the edge of the counter and shook his head. 

"The only places he could go would be his mums place or mine and I don't even want my mum knowing about...you so I sure as hell don't want his mother knowing." 

"Who gives a fuck anymore? The cat is going to have to come out of the bag sometime, Harry. You can't hide this forever. I'm running out of excuses to tell my parents why they can't meet yours." 

"Just...wait until we get a divorce finalized and all-"

"But how long is that going to take? Divorces can drag out for years and I think it's obvious that this divorce isn't going to be a mutual thing." Harry just reached up to rub his temples again. 

"I will...make sure it's as short as it can be." He answered. 

"And how are you going to do that?" Harry shrugged.

"I'll figure something out." Zach just nodded reluctantly. He stood up and picked up his plate, bringing it over to the trash. 

"Well that was an eventful dinner." He joked sarcastically scraping the leftover food in the bin before bringing it over to the sink like Harry had. Harry was still standing at the counter, thinking back to a time when he didn't even know Louis. 

Zach stepped beside him, placing a gentle hand on his back. Harry turned his head to look at him before Zach leaned in and kissed him sweetly. 

"I love you." Harry just closed his eyes and nodded.

"I love you too." Zach smiled before stepping back and walking back to the table. 

"I can get the dishes tonight." Harry just nodded again as he rubbed his eyes. 

"I need another Aleve." Zach laughed as Harry headed off towards the stairs where Louis was walking back down with Amoray who was calmer. 

Zach sent him a dismissive glare before picking up his and Amorays plates. 

"Hold on there lover boy, you might be done eating, but we're not." Zach just set the plates back down before rolling his eyes and walking past them and up the stairs. Amoray climbed up onto her chair and Louis sat back down in his place. "So little bird, are you excited to be starting...1st grade?" He asked unsure if she was even entering the first grade yet, but she nodded confirming his thoughts. 

"I'm so excited!" She exclaimed cheerfully before spooning more mac and cheese into her mouth making Louis smile. "I-I'm a little nervous too."

"I always got nervous for school too." He picked at his green beans tentatively. He didn't have much of an appetite. "You know, I actually met papa in school." She looked at him curiously. 

"In the first grade?" Louis laughed, shaking his head. 

"No, it wasn't until our junior year of high school we met actually." He explained. "We had a few classes together and we became friends and then he asked me out and so we started dating. And the rest is history." He last laughed, mostly for the sake of himself, then glanced down at his plate. He just moved his mac and cheese around more than he actually ate any of it. "So, little bird, what's your favorite color?" 

"Purple." She answered without a single hesitation. "What's yours?"

"My favorite color is green." 

"Why?" Louis shrugged. 

"It's just a color I've fallen in love with." He answered contently. 

"I don't like green." She frowned making Louis laugh. 

"And why not?"

"Because all the vegetables I hate are green." She answered making Louis laugh even louder. 

"But vegetables are good for you. They feed the body and the mind and they'll help you grow up to be a strong woman one day." He exclaimed making her smile and blush. 

"But then why do they have to taste so gross?" She whined finishing the last of her mac and cheese. 

"So you know they're working." He joked and she laughed with a full mouth. So they finished up by themselves without a glimpse of Harry or Zach. Louis placed the dishes in the sink and Amoray ran off to the living room to watch TV. 

After Louis saw she was situated on the couch comfortably Louis trekked up the stairs and paused in the hallway under the stairs leading up the attic. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed while waiting for Harry to leave their bedroom. Or what Harry would probably consider his and Zach's room now, but who gave a flying shit. Certainly not Louis. 

The second the door opened he stood away from the wall and stood tall as Harry stepped forward with grin like someone had just said something funny and messy hair. And the buttons to his shirts were misaligned. Louis felt his heart sink. 

Harry froze and looked down at Louis, pressing his lips together. 

"Check your buttons." He told him flatly making Harry look down at his shirt before blushing and reaching up to fix them. "Where are my clothes?" 

"In the attic." 

Louis stepped back and Harry pulled down the stairs that led up to the attic. He stepped up them quietly and Louis followed suit. The attic was vast and open except for a few boxes. 

"They're in these boxes." Harry dragged forward one large cardboard box and another small one. Louis knelt down and opened up the big box, pulling out the first clothing item he came in contact with. Harry stepped back, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Louis turned and looked up at him. 

"So," He started. "What happens next? I'd like to believe this isn't a hard decision for you to make." Harry drew in a deep breath then shrugged his shoulders. 

"It's just...things are different now, Louis."

"Well they shouldn't be." Louis retorted softly. "Why'd you just give up on me like that?" 

"I didn't give up on you!"

"You have a motherfucking fiancé, Harry!" He shouted at him furiously. "How is that not supposed to say you gave up on me?"

"It's supposed to say I had accepted that you wouldn't live and moved on-"

"How could you just accept that, though, when I was still alive!"

"I didn't want to, I had to!" Harry yelled. "To get over my drinking problem and to finally start just living since the day of the crash." 

"Well what's supposed to happen now?" He asked softly. "Because I didn't die like you had just assumed was going to happen...," Harry took a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt like his throat was closing. 

"I think...we should get a divorce." Louis's jaw dropped. 

"Are you...are you joking?" Harry just pressed his lips together. "But we're actually married. We made a commitment to each other until death, I don't give a fuck if you just figured I was going to die, I didn't. We...we promised each other divorce would never become an option for us, that no matter what the problem was we'd work through it together, we...we promised each other that." 

"Things are different now." 

"You don't even want to put forth an honest effort?" 

"I just...given the circumstances for the situation, I just think it'd be best if we did this." 

"So you don't love me anymore." Louis stated softly. 

"I'll always love you, just...not in the way I once did." Harry was sure he just watched Louis's entire heart break and Louis was sure his entire heart had just broken into so many tiny pieces it was merely dust. 

"But...you promised me you'd always love me with all your heart and soul. That's what you said on our wedding night. That's what you promised me." 

"Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting on you falling into a coma for two years-"

"Why the hell should that make any sort of difference?" Harry just took a deep breath. "I don't believe you, anyway." 

"You don't believe me?" 

"Yeah, I don't believe you. I don't believe you're willing to throw away our whole entire marriage, everything we've been through, so you can marry that jackass." 

"Well will you believe me when our divorce is finalized?" Louis's jaw dropped, his eyes filling with tears. He had no idea how Harry could say something that cruel to him, something so harsh. He didn't even seem like the same man he was driving home to before the crash. 

Harry just took a deep breath and stuffed his hands in his pockets. His head was spinning in circles it felt. He still couldn't wrap his head around the situation he evidently placed himself in. 

"I'm sorry." Louis wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. Was it for what he had just said or for everything altogether? He didn't know. Harry just pursed his lips together before pivoting around and trekking down the stairs. Louis wiped his eyes then turned back to the box.

He started pulling out all the clothes so he could sort through it himself. Soon he was surrounded in a mound of his own clothes. He pushed the big box away and pulled forward the smaller box. 

He picked at the edge of the tape before pulling ripping it off. He pulled open the box before freezing because sitting on top was their wedding album. He reached in with awe as he pulled out the heavy album, setting it in his lap. This was the icing on top of the cake. 

He reached out and traced his words imprinted on the cover. 

'Louis and Harry.  
2.14.08.'

His heart hurt. His head hurt. Everything hurt and he had no idea how to make any of it better. He was just lost. So he opened the album because what better way to make the pain of a possible impending divorce easier then looking at old wedding photos. 

He was glad the photos were protected behind a plastic cover because as much as he tried his tears still dropped onto them. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad to warp them, though. Obviously they meant nothing to Harry anymore. 

Louis somehow still found himself smiling, though. Half in happiness and half in sadness. He felt happy looking back on the memories, but felt sad knowing that it meant nothing now. Harry wanted a divorce. He had a fiancé! 

He flipped through the photos, smiling at the photos of him and Harry and their friends and family and just everything that had been immortalized in his memory. He smiled at the pictures of them sharing their first dance and might've even started humming their wedding song that he'll never forget. It was At The Cross by Thad Fiscella and even the song alone made him tear up. 

He never thought he'd find himself in a situation where he'd be crying from sadness while flipping through their wedding album. He never thought coming home would amount to what it had. He never thought a lot of things would happen. Guess he was just naïve. 

He closed the album and pushed it aside. He finished sorting through his clothes, despite having no where to put them. He just pulled out a tee shirt and an old pair of joggers to change into for sleeping. With those draped over his arm, he dried his eyes then went down to the second floor again. He lifted the stairs up then took a deep breath because suddenly everything was making him tired. 

He turned down the hallway and went to the spare room Harry said he had made out what used to be Louis's little makeshift art studio. The walls were painted a pale blue with one white dresser and a single twin bed with white sheets and a blue bed spread. He swallowed thickly. It felt like it was getting harder to swallow. 

He changed out of his jeans and long sleeved black shirt into his pair of grey joggers and long sleeved maroon sleep shirt. He folded his clothes neatly and just placed them on the floor by the bed. 

Then pulled down the sheets before climbing in bed despite it only being half passed six. He didn't have anything else to do or anything he wanted to do. He literally had nothing except the clothes on his back. 

So he just laid there in bed. He drifted in and out of sleep until it was 12 o'clock, all the lights in the house had been turned off, and it was silent. He turned on his back and stared up at the ceiling. 

And then everything hit it. It hit him like a ton of bricks. The entire situation that had been hanging over his head suddenly dropped on his shoulders and on his heart. And he burst into tears. All the tears, all the sorrow, he had been holding in was finally released. 

He turned over on his stomach so he could use his pillow to smother the ugly noises he was making, but it didn't seem to work. He cried, cried, cried until he was blue in the face with red eyes to match. 

There was a small, timid knock on his door that made his heart stop. He sat up quickly and dried his eyes and cheeks, not wanting to give off the illusion he had been crying despite it being completely obvious. He pulled the blanket off his lap, but then the door open and he paused, watching Amoray walked in between the crack of his door and over to his bed.

"Are you okay, daddy?" She asked in a whisper.  
"I can hear you crying." Louis sighed. Did he actually wake up his daughter by crying?

"Oh, I'm so sorry little bird that I woke you up," He rubbed his eyes, gazing down at her admirably. She was dressed in a little Frozen themed nightgown that made him smile. "Daddy's just a little bit sad tonight." 

"Why?" 

"Just because. Lots of things have changed since I was in the hospital." He explained solemnly. 

"You should have some ice cream. Ice cream always makes me happier when I'm sad." He laughed softly and swung his legs over the edge of his bed. 

"I'm so happy to have you in my life." He whispered. "Now let's go get some ice cream." He stood up, scooping her up in his arms making her squeal with laughter. "Shh, we gotta be extra quiet or else papa will hear." He hushed while walking down the stairs. She nodded and held her finger to her lips to signal being quiet. He smiled. 

The house was dark except for what moonlight could find its way through the blinds covering the windows. The stove light above the kitchen was on supplying a bit more light. He set her back down on the counter. 

"Two bowls of ice cream in one day? You sure are spoiled." He joked softly making her laugh. He found the bowls in the appropriate cabinets and placed them down on the counter before walking over to the fridge and opening the freezer. He pulled out the tub of ice cream again then grabbed the scoop from the dishwasher. 

"So, little bird, what do you usually do during the day while papa is at work and all? Do you go to daycare?" She nodded while he filled the bowls with ice cream. 

"Yeah, I have fun there." She said. "And sometimes papa takes me to the gym with him and there's a huge play place there. You should come play there with me sometime." 

"I will most definitely have to do that." He placed the scoop in the sink again then closed the tub and placed it in the freezer before going to the drawer and taking out two spoons. They heard a door open from upstairs and Louis pressed his lips together as he and Amoray watched Harry appear out of the receding darkness at the top of the stairs. 

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked walking down them. Louis just rolled his eyes and handed Amoray her spoon, pushing her bowl towards her. Harry stepped in front of the counter, across from Louis, and gave him a reprimanding look. 

"Ice cream?"

"Louis," He snapped. "Why is Amoray up? It is passed midnight, she's supposed to be asleep, she has to be up by 7:30 to be dropped off at daycare—are you giving her more ice cream?"

"Yes." Louis stated. "It was her idea-"

"Of course it was her idea." Harry snapped in tired annoyance. 

"Listen," Louis picked up his bowl and spooned some of his ice cream into his mouth. "Why don't you just go back up to bed and pretend this was all a dream-"

"She's not going to be able to fall back asleep if you're giving her ice cream at midnight-"

"Would you please loosen up a bit?" Louis interrupted. 

"Don't be mad at dad, papa." Amoray spoke up making them both turn to her. "It was my idea for ice cream because he was sad." 

"Oh, little bird, I'm not mad at Louis." He told her softly. "I'm just a little disappointed because he should know," He gave him a quick, dismissive look. "That giving you ice cream at midnight was not a smart idea." Louis rolled his eyes. 

"You know what else wasn't a smart idea?"

"Look, I don't think Amoray should have ice cream now. She had ice cream earlier." Louis rolled his eyes again, eating some more of his own ice cream. 

"Would you live a little?" He asked cynically. "It's just ice cream." 

"It's also 'just' midnight and she needs to be in bed or else she won't get enough sleep." 

"You need to chill." Louis replied nonchalantly making Amoray giggle. 

"Yeah, chill." She added eliciting a smile from both Louis and Harry. 

"Sorry little bird, but you have to go to bed." She frowned. 

"Please papa?" She pleaded and Harry's heart just about melted. He had the softest spot for her. 

"You can finish your ice cream, but then it's straight to bed. And this won't be happening again." 

"Papa likes to be a killjoy, doesn't he little bird?" Louis joked to Amoray, making her laugh. Harry gave him an unamused look. 

"Straight to bed." He repeated sternly. 

"Nothing I do is straight-"

"Louis, I am not in the mood for your jokes. Just finish the ice cream then put her back to bed. I don't appreciate your lack of cooperation." Louis just rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah, okay, thanks for talking to me about cooperation-"

"Goodnight, little bird." Harry interrupted before leaning over and giving Amoray a kiss on the forehand. "Sleep well." 

"Night papa," Harry gave her a smile, didn't spare a look in Louis's direction, then turned and walked back towards the stairs. Louis rolled his eyes again before moving to sit up on the counter with Amoray. And so they ate their ice cream, talked into the wee hours of the night, more like minutes of the night, and then Louis washed the dishes. 

He brought her back up to her room, assured her he wasn't sad anymore (that the ice cream had worked), then put her to bed. Louis went back to his own room and laid down. He thought about how thrilled he was to have such a beautiful and bright daughter, but he also thought about how upset he was that his own husband had given up on him, found a new fiancé, and expressed the desire for a divorce. And that trumped all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kind of unrealistic but just go with it 


	2. Chapter 2

When Louis woke up the next morning it was 10:54 and the house was empty. He rubbed his eyes, the suns brilliant light nudging him awake. He skipped any sort of breakfast, took a shower, and dressed in his clothes from the day before. 

He waltzed around the house without the first clue of what to do. He knew what he had to do, but he was just feeling so blah that he didn't want to do anything it seemed. 

At noon there was a knock on the front door and Louis almost didn't answer it before remembering that his mother had suggested getting lunch that day. So he opened it with a forced smile before being almost immediately pulled in for a hug. 

"Good afternoon, sweetheart." She greeted so cheerfully that Louis was jealous. He wanted to share in her joy, but he just couldn't, couldn't, couldn't. All he could do was fake a smile and try to place his focus somewhere other than his failing marriage. "Did you want to go catch lunch?" 

"Yeah, of course." Her face lit up as she stepped back. Louis grabbed his keys which were still on the key rack and stepped out onto the porch. He locked the door then turned to follow his mother down to get car. He was silent the entire car ride which already gave Jay some suspicion that something was wrong. 

They just decided to dine at The Lime Tree which was the only conversation carried out during the drive. They walked in, were greeted by the hostess, then showed to a table. Louis sat down across from his mother who gave him curious look. 

"Are you alright sweetheart?" She asked him seriously. "You've been very quiet. It seems like you're upset." Louis forced a big smile, but it was so fake that even Jay could see just how transparent it was. 

"I'm fine." He assured not even making eye contact with her. He kept his head up, but stared down at the table. 

"Sweetheart," She leaned forward as if he was saying something she couldn't hear. Louis just shook his head, sitting back. He rubbed his palms against his thighs, but his mother asking him if he was upset and alright only made him more upset because he wasn't alright. But he didn't want her knowing that. 

"I-I'm fine, really." But he wasn't, though, because his chest was beginning to get tight and his throat was burning as he fought against his urge to cry. His bit the inside of his cheek as his eyes watered with tears. 

"Is everything alright at home? How did Harry react seeing you?" And that's when he burst into tears, catching Jay completely off guard. He covered his hands over his face to muffle the ugly noises he was trying so, so, so hard to silence. Jay quickly fanned open her napkin and reached it out to him. He took it graciously and wiped his eyes. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" 

"Harry wants a divorce." Jay's entire face dropped in shock. Louis blew his nose into the napkin before crumpling it into a ball. He used the sleeve of his shirt to rub his eyes. 

"What? Why? You've been home for one day. I...," Jay was speechless. 

"He said that during the first sixth months it was really hard and he turned to alcohol so then, I don't know, he said he got help and started therapy and he said he had to accept the fact that I wasn't going to live so he could move on with his life and-and he has a fiancé. He's fucking engaged to another man! And now he wants a divorce so they can get married. I-I-I-" He cut himself off. 

"He's engaged to someone else?!" She repeated in a shrill tone. Louis just nodded. "Oh my God, that son of a bitch-"

"Mum," Louis interrupted softly, shaking his head. 

"I'm sorry." She apologized softly. 

"Can I come stay with you?" She nodded. 

"Of course sweetie, you're always welcome." He just nodded back and wiped his eyes. "Does Anne know about this?" He shook his head. 

"No, she doesn't." Louis rubbed his eyes and fixed his hair as their waitress approached their table with a cheerful smile. 

"Hi, welcome to The Lime Tree, my name is Lana and I'll be your waitress this afternoon. Can I start you out with something to drink?" 

"Just two waters please." Jay requested softly as Lana wrote it down then sauntered off. They hadn't even opened their menus yet. Louis placed his head in his hands. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked him quietly. Louis shrugged, sitting up. 

"Talk about what? Talk about how my husband gave up on me while I was in the hospital? Talk about how he got fucking engaged to another man? Talk about how he wants a divorce? Why would I want to talk about that?" He asked bitterly. Jay pressed her lips together then sighed. 

"Sweetheart-"

"I don't want to talk about it." So, for forty minutes they sat through a very strenuous lunch full of tension and forced conversation. Louis felt bad for putting his mother through such a awkward lunch when it was supposed to be a joyous time. He had gotten out of the hospital after two years! But it wasn't joyous and there wasn't anything he could do about it. 

After lunch they stopped by the house where Louis just grabbed his boxes of clothes and stowed them in the trunk of his mothers car, leaving behind the wedding album. Louis couldn't believe he was 30 and having to go stay with his mother. 

He was greeted by smiles and open arms from his younger sisters. Since Lottie and Fizzy were no longer actually living at home he got another spare room to stay in. He shoved the boxes in the corner of Lottie's old room before dropping down on the bed and sighing. 

He figured he should've left some sort of note, but Harry was smart. He could come to the correct conclusion, right?

It wasn't until 5 o'clock in the afternoon that Jays phone started ringing, but she didn't recognize the number so she ignored it...until it called two more times and she was getting annoyed. 

"Hello?" She answered sounding exasperated. 

"Jay, it's Harry, is Louis there?" Jay had to put away her protective maternal instincts and compose herself before speaking. 

"Yes, he is." She replied curtly. 

"I need to talk to him, can you put him on?" 

"He can't come to-"

"Can't or won't?" Harry interrupted bitterly. "Look, I need to talk to him. Amoray has been hysterical ever since we got home because he's not here and she thinks he left again. Can you please just get him on the phone?" 

"Give me a moment." She heard him sigh as she got up from the armchair in the living room and walked up to the second floor. She knocked on the door gently before hearing Louis call her in. 

She stepped through the crack, gesturing to her phone which she covered her hand with.

"It's Harry, he needs to speak with you." Louis just gave him a look before shaking his head. "It's about Amoray." She added softly. Louis exhaled in fatigue before dragging himself up off the bed and stomping over to his mother. He grabbed the phone. 

"Hello?" Jay stepped back into the hallway, closing the door behind her gently. 

"How could you just leave like that in the middle of the day? Amoray is being completely hysterical because you're not here and she thinks you left for good or something. She keeps saying that you promised you'd never leave. Can you please get down here and talk to her?"

"Can't you just put her on the phone?" The last thing he wanted to do was see Harry. Or Zach. He practically gagged at the thought of Zach. 

"You know, I don't think that's going to be enough to calm her. She wants to see you." Harry told him sternly. Louis just rolled his eyes. 

"Fine, I'll head over now." 

"And since you'll be here I think it would be best if we talked to her about the divorce." Louis's heart stopped in his chest and he only had to blink one, two, three times before warm tears were rolling down his cheeks. 

"I...didn't know that was a definite thing." He whispered into the phone softly. 

"Did you think I'd change my mind?" Harry deadpanned. Louis was a loss for words. 

"Alright then." He could barely speak, his throat was so tight he was sure it had actually closed and that he was suffocating. 

"Bye." The call ended. Louis just stood there numbly, the phone still being held to his ear before he slowly pulled it away and turned off the phone. He dried his cheeks with his sleeve then went to open the door. Jay was pacing in the hallway still, pausing once she heard the door open. 

"Is it alright if I borrow your car?" He asked ever so softly. "I need to go see Amoray and...Harry wants us to tell her about the divorce." Tears started rolling down his face again as he held her phone out to her. Jay took it with a sympathetic look. 

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" Louis just nodded as he walked passed her towards to the stairs then headed towards the foyer. She followed him. "Sweetheart," He turned to look at her as he put on his shoes. "Are you okay?" Louis shook his head. 

"No, not really, but Amoray is my main priority regardless of whatever is going on between Harry and I." He grabbed the car keys then his own set of house keys and opened the front door. "I don't assume I'll be that long." Was all he said before walking out to the car. 

He felt nauseous the entire car drive. He felt weird even driving, he wasn't even sure if he was allowed to drive. He didn't have a license, at least, not one at his dispose. If he was pulled over he'd just try and use the sympathy card. 

Pulling up to the house he felt his stomach lurch and his head spilt in half. His heart ached. He went up to the door and unlocked the door. Walking in he could already hear Amoray crying from somewhere within the house. 

"I'm here!" He called out even though his throat hurt by raising his voice. Harry came bumbling down the stairs with Amoray in his arms. 

"See little bird?" Harry asked walking up to Louis who had dropped his keys, ready to take Amoray. "Daddy's here, sweetheart. He didn't leave. He's right here." Amoray lifted her head up, wiping her tears eyes before reaching out to Louis. He stepped closer and picked her up as she hugged him tightly, immediately quieting. Harry stepped back and took a deep breath, his hands on his hips. 

"Hi, little bird." He greeted in a soft tone. "I'm sorry if I upset you by not being here, just because I wasn't here doesn't mean I left. I promised you I'd never leave again." She lifted her head up off his shoulder. Her long brown hair was messy and her bright blue eyes were shining like diamonds. 

"Where did you go?" She asked wiping her nose with the edge of her hand. 

"I went to my mums house, grandma Jays house." He explained. "I am going to be staying there instead of staying here." 

"Why?" He hesitated and glanced at Harry who just rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. 

"Why don't papa and I explain that to you." He said feeling his throat tighten. "Let's go sit at the kitchen table." He strode across the front room and went to the table. Harry followed behind him, taking a seat in his chair as Louis placed Amoray in her chair. He sat down across from Harry. 

"Look, little bird," Louis started. "Some things are going to be changing a bit. You see, papa and I are going to be getting a divorce." He stated softly just wishing, wishing, wishing that this was all a dream and that he was still in his coma. Why was he the one explaining this to her anyway? He didn't even want the divorce. Harry should be the one talking to her. 

"What's a divorce?" She asked calmly. Louis and Harry both glanced at each other before turning back to her. 

"Well, basically, we aren't going to be married anymore-"

"Why?"

"Because we fell out of love." Harry answered before Louis could say anything. "Some of the feelings we had for each other when we got married just aren't there anymore and so we decided it'd be best if we went ahead and got a divorce." That might've been true for Harry, but it sure as hell wasn't true for Louis. 

"Is daddy still going to be living here?" Louis shook his head. 

"I am not leaving you, but we will be living in separate places." Louis explained. "So, you know, you'll have your room here and stay with papa for some days and then you'll have a room at my place, once I find one, and you'll get to come stay with me for some days." 

"Oh," She looked solemn. "Okay." Louis and Harry both paused, waiting for the first sign of waterworks to start, but they never came. "You'll still be friends right? Just because you won't be married doesn't mean you won't be friends right?" Louis forced himself to nod, as did Harry. "Promise?" 

"I promise we will still be friends." Louis assured with a small smile. 

"Good, because I don't want you guys to hate and fight with each other and friends don't do that." She said making Louis's heart melt.

"Sweetheart, we'll never hate each other." Harry replied softly making her smile. 

"Can I spend the night with daddy?" Harry hesitated. 

"Sure, why don't you go on up to your room and Louis will be up there in a moment to help you pack for the night. I know Jay will be thrilled to see you." He added with a smile making Amoray smile which then made Louis smile. She lit up with excitement before running off to her room. Once she was out of sight their smiles disappeared and they both sighed heavily.

"She took that a lot better than I was expecting." Louis admitted rubbing his aching neck. "Although I'm not sure if she completely understands it all."

"Yeah, well, she's a good kid." Harry added. "She's bright."

"She must get her rationality from me." Louis joked making Harry laugh. It was the first time Louis had heard him actually laugh since he woke up. 

"You're the most irrational person I know." He replied with a smile. Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

"Yeah, well, you're the most irritating person I know." He stood up and marched out of the living room. So Amoray had a little backpack Louis helped her pack with a set of pj's and an outfit for the next day. She also packed her markers, crayons, and favorite coloring book before they walked out to the car. Harry followed nervously. 

"You don't have a car seat." He said from the porch. Louis, who had one hand on the door handle, closed his eyes and titled his head back as he groaned. 

"Fuck." He whispered under his breath. "Can I use the one you're using now?" Harry nodded reluctantly. 

"One minute." Harry went back into the house and Louis and Amoray stood outside the car before the garage door opened. Louis took a deep breath and opened the backseat door while Harry removed Amorays car seat from his car. 

He walked it over to Louis's car and Louis stepped aside as Harry correctly secured it properly in the back seat. 

"Thank you." Louis helped Amoray into the back seat and buckled her in nicely, placing her backpack in the middle seat. Louis stepped back as Harry stepped forward. 

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, little bird." He said softly. "Now you be good at grandma Jays tonight, okay? I know you haven't seen her in awhile, but be good. Follow the rules. Don't stir up any trouble." 

"I won't." Amoray replied making Harry smile. "I'll be good, I promise." 

"Good." He leaned in and kissed her cheek, making her giggle before she turned and gave him a kiss as well. "See you tomorrow, sweetheart." 

"Bye papa," Harry stepped back before Louis stepped forward and closed the door. 

"Sorry if this is springing a lot on...Jay." Harry said stepping back towards the open garage. 

"When is the last time she saw Amoray?" Harry just shrugged, shaking his head as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

"I don't even know." He admitted. 

"You're despicable." Louis pressed his lips together before walking to the driver side door and climbing inside. Harry went back into the house. Louis drove back home. Well, to his mothers home. 

They walked into the house as Jay was walking down the stairs. 

"Hope you don't mind Amoray coming to spend the night." Louis said meekly as he closed the door. 

"Oh, of course not! Hi Amoray!" She greeted enthusiastically as she walked over to them then bent down to give her a hug. 

"Hi grandma!" She greeted back happily. 

"How are you? My, you're so big!" Jay exclaimed lifting her up. 

"Sweetheart, let me take your backpack." Louis spoke up stepping forward. He carefully removed her backpack before Jay brought her into the living room and Louis brought her backpack up to his room. 

The evening was spent with kids tv shows, a warm homemade dinner, and Louis catching some z's while Daisy and Phoebe played with Amoray. At nine o'clock they got ready for bed, wished Jay a goodnight, then snuggled down under the covers to sleep. 

The evening was a little different for Harry. Later that night Harry was bothered by an incessant knocking on the front door. He forced himself out of his bed and marched down the stairs, opening the door to a surly looking Anne. 

"We need to talk." Harry looked at her questionably because she was probably the last person he was expecting to open the door to. 

"Um, I'm kind of preoccupied at the moment, can you come by later?" Anne shook her head. 

"We're talking now." She welcomed herself in and stepped into the foyer before turning to face Harry. Harry just rolled his eyes, closing the door before glancing up the stairwell nervously. 

"Well you could've warned me you were coming over." He replied crossing his arms. 

"Would you have picked up if I called?" She asked harshly. "You didn't even pick up or respond when I left you a voicemail saying Louis was awake."

"Oh, I got new phone and number." He stated. "I...I guess I forgot to tell you." He rubbed the back of his neck before crossing his arms. 

"Forget or deliberately not tell me or anyone else?" Harry swallowed thickly. He felt like he was a teenager again. 

"What did you come over here to talk about?" 

"I want to talk about why you thought it was okay to start seeing someone when you're already married to Louis." Harry was just quiet, glancing around the floor. "Harry." Anne snapped making him jump. 

"What?" 

"Answer my question."

"I...don't know."

"How can you not know? Your husband just came out of a two year coma, finds out you're engaged to another man, and when asked why you say you don't know?" 

"It was a difficult time and I didn't handle it well! I wasn't expecting him to live so I'm a bit thrown off right now!" He exclaimed raising his voice angrily. The last thing he needed was to be reprimanded by his mother. He was a thirty year old man for crying out loud! 

"But you knew there was a chance of him waking up so why would you just disregard that?" She exclaimed still standing with her arms crossed tightly across her chest. 

"Because I didn't think there was a chance of him waking up!" He yelled at her. "I don't have to explain myself to you-"

"How can you do this to him, though?" Anne interrupted sternly. "You guys have been married for seven years, you started dating in high school. When he first woke up he asked for you and Amoray and he kept asking us to call you because he wanted to see his husband, all he talked about was going home to see you-"

"Well gee, I don't remember phone calls being the only way to contact someone." He shot back sarcastically. Anne glared at him. 

"Do not put this one me. You are the one who shunned everyone away-"

"Well I don't remember putting a force field around my front door that kept you from walking up the front porch." He retorted making Anne flame. 

"Harry Edward Styles-"

"Look, things are different now, mum-"

"How can you honestly do something like this with a clear conscience?" 

"Mum, please-"

"Harry?" They both turned and glanced up the stairwell where Zach had made his mistakable appearance. He turned red with embarrassment. Anne turned to Harry, red with anger. 

"Are you living together?" Harry, who was staring at the carpet, rubbed the back of his neck again and nodded meekly. "I...," She drew in a long breath. "I am extremely disappointed in you." Harry just stood still as she walked passed him to the door and quickly left. 

Harry's eyes were bleary with tears as he stepped over to the door and locked it behind her. He cleared his throat before glancing up the stairwell at Zach who gave him a soft, sympathetic expression. He just cleared his throat again then walked into the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of water, wishing it were vodka. 

The next few weeks had gone by swimmingly and by swimmingly that meant horribly. The initial divorce petition had been filed, a mediator had already been hired, and they both agreed to do it without any trials or litigation or lawyers, mainly because Louis obviously couldn't afford one and he wanted it to be fair. 

But Louis still managed to be up bright and early eating breakfast in the kitchen at 8 am on the Monday morning before their first appointment with the mediator. His mother was there, just as chipper, and pouring herself a cup of coffee. 

"You seem gleeful this morning." She teased stepping in front of the island across from him. 

"Yes, well, I found out that a new high school is opening up this August and they're looking for a whole bunch of teaches, including an art one, so I'm going to apply there today then I have to work from noon to six." He replied making her laugh. He had gotten a job as a teller at a local bank. 

"Do you need to borrow my car?" He shook his head. 

"I'll find my way. Amoray is coming over to tonight and I'm supposed to pick her up from the gym after I get off work." Jay gave him a quizzical look.

"The gym?" She repeated questionably. Louis nodded. 

"Yeah, apparently there's some huge play place there that she loves so Harry takes her there and she plays while he works out so I figured I might as well just pick her up from there." She smiled again. 

"At least she'll be nice and tired out when she gets here." She teased making Louis smile and laugh, something he had found being quite hard to do recently. "How's it going with the...divorce and all?"

"Great, we're meeting with the mediator tomorrow so...I guess we'll see how that goes." He answered solemnly. 

"Well, good luck." He forced a soft smile. 

"Thanks." So he finished his breakfast then spent the first half of the day applying for the position at the high school then working his shift at the bank that he loved so much. Not. But at least he was earning money and getting somewhat of his life on track. 

After work he took the bus that dropped him off a block away from the gym and he walked to the building. He walked through the entrance of the building and glanced around. 

"Can I help you, sir?" A lady at the desk asked. Louis nodded, walking up to it. 

"I'm just here to pick up my daughter. She's in the play area, I think." The lady nodded. 

"If you just walk all the way to the far wall you'll find the door that leads into the children's area." She said pointing the left. Louis nodded, giving her a nice smile. 

"Thank you."

"Anytime." He walked through the gym all the way to the door that had 'kids place' on the door. He opened it and walked in before marveling up at the large plastic play structure. It was like something you'd find in McDonald's, but two times bigger! 

"Hello sir, how may I help you?" A younger girl asked approaching him. Louis glanced at all the children playing and running around. 

"I'm just here to pick up my daughter, Amoray." He explained. Such then she came sliding out from a large purple slide laughing "Amoray!" He called out over the children's shrill shrieks. She looked over at him, but then just ran back over to the opening of the play structure. "Amoray, we have to go!" He exclaimed, but she had disappeared in the mess of colorful plastic. 

Feeling his anger already boiling he stepped back and took a deep breath. All the children who would screaming and shouting didn't help any. He couldn't imagine working in there. 

He waited for five minutes until Amoray came out of a different slide this time. 

"Amoray, we have to leave-"

"Just one more time!" She yelled running all the way back to the entrance. Before Louis could even respond she had disappeared again. He grit his teeth, waiting.  

As soon as he saw her appear again from the slide he hurried over to her and when she tried to run he grabbed her hand. 

"We're leaving Amoray-"

"Just one more time!" She yelled trying to yank her hand free. 

"You said one more time last time so now we're leaving." He replied sternly as they walked over to the shoe rack. 

"Daddy!" She cried loudly. "You're hurting me!" At the sound of the thought Louis immediately released her hand, but when he turned to apologize to her she ran off to play structure. He fumed. 

"Amoray, get down here now!" He yelled out furiously earning some scornful looks from some other parents that were there trying to gather their children. "If you are not down here in five minutes then I am going to go up there and get you." He threatened glaring up at the blasted play structure. 

So he waited five minutes. But then he extended it to ten minutes. And then at fifteen minutes he was fucking livid and pissed off. 

"Amoray Nicole! Get down here now!" He yelled walking up to the structure, trying to see if he could see her at all. "That's it! I'm coming up!" He didn't know if he was allowed in the structure, but he was so fucking pissed off that he wasn't waiting anymore. 

He climbed into the entrance and started climbing up the extremely small plastic steps only hitting his head four times. He crouched down on a platform he reached before being met with three different tunnels. He didn't even know if he would fit through them. 

"Amoray!" He yelled angrily. He turned and glanced down at the floor to see if Amoray had went down the slide or not. He didn't see her. He started climbing down the middle tunnel before running into another child who then had to start crawling backwards because there was no way he should've squeezed passed Louis. 

He crawled out into a large round, and considerably taller, cylindrical area with two different tunnel openings. "Amoray!" He noticed her sitting there and the second she saw him she bolted up one of the tunnels. "Amoray, I am not in the mood! Get over here, we're leaving!" He followed her through the tunnels, but she had youth and speed on her side. They made it to one of the slides and Amoray slid down it. 

Louis just wanted to catch his breath, but he forced himself down the tiny slide. When he came out on the other side Amoray was running towards the entrance again.  He sprinted towards her and scooped her up in his arms. 

"No! One more time! Just one more time!" She cried hysterically and tried to fight against him. 

"We're leaving!" He exclaimed furiously making her burst into tears. Louis was so furious. He quickly found her shoes, signed her out, then stomped towards the entrance of the building with her still in meltdown mode. 

Harry was smirking at him smugly from the front door he was waiting by, holding her backpack. His hair had been pulled back and he was gleaming with perspiration. 

"Have fun?"

"You knew she was going to do that, didn't you?"

"She does it every time."

"You could've warned me." He yanked the backpack from his hands then pushed open the door abruptly. 

"Where would be the fun in that?" Harry teased walking out after him. 

"Literally, I don't appreciate it at all. How am I supposed to ride the bus with her like this?" He asked stopping by the curb. 

"You're taking the bus?"

"Yes, I still don't have a car and I've been using my mums enough." He replied in aggravation as he resituated Amoray in his arms who still hadn't calmed down in the slightest. 

"Let me drive you then-"

"No."

"Lou-"

"No." 

"C'mon-"

"I said no, goodbye." Louis marched towards the sidewalk, Amoray still screaming in his ear practically. So he suffered the bus ride to the nearest bus stop to his mums house. Luckily by then Amoray had calmed down, but was refusing to walk.

When they got home he dropped her off on the couch and went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face. He was exhausted. And today wasn't even going to be the worst day of his week! He was practically in tears the entire time while talking to the mediator they hired on the phone. 

Dinner was quiet. Daisy and Phoebe kept Amoray busy until it was time for bed. She slept in Louis's bed while Louis just slept on the floor because the floor was actually quite comfortable. 

The next morning he dropped Amoray off at her daycare before getting ready for their first mediation session with a heavy heart. He woke up without even wanting to get up. If he hadn't needed to bring Amoray to daycare he probably would've just slept in the entire day. 

The little office room was uninviting and gray. He felt unwelcome and like he wanted to throw up. His stomach was twisted into a tight knot. Their mediator was an older gentleman with brown hair and mustache. He had a very cold face. 

Harry was already in the room by the time he got there. He dropped down in his seat. And all seemed to go well until the topic of a custody arrangement was brought up. 

"I want primary of custody of Amoray." Louis stated crossing his arms. 

"No, you aren't getting primary custody. You don't just get to take her away-"

"I'm not taking her away, obviously there'd be some set days she stays with you-"

"I have the house she has been growing up in since she was born, her rooms is there, everything about her is there, do you really want to move her?"

"Louis, how close are you to having your own place?" Louis grit his teeth. 

"I don't know, I'm saving up until I have enough money for my own place for the time being." He replied curtly. 

"What is your occupation?"

"Right now I'm working at a bank until school starts where I'll then be an art teacher at the new high school which is opening up." Harry just sighed. 

"We need think about what's best for Amoray-"

"And I don't think you're what's best-"

"How the hell can you say that? I'm her father too, I've been raising her by myself for two years-"

"Because I was in a fucking coma!" Louis shouted furiously, tears clouding his eyes as his face turned impossibly red. Harry just took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Is this is really what you want?" Harry wasn't even making eye contact with him when he nodded his head. 

"What else do you want to do?" He asked hoarsely.  

"I want to get my family back." Louis deadpanned. "The same family I was driving home to before the accident." He wiped his eyes. "You know what, go right a fucking head and give him primary custody since apparently he's the one keeping the house. Just because I was in the hospital for two years doesn't make it any less of mine than yours." Louis stood up abruptly and yanked his jacket up.

"Louis, sit down." Harry told him tiredly. Louis shook his head. 

"Hold on," The mediator said. Louis paused and turned, facing them. "A custody arrangement does not have to be set in stone today, it doesn't even have to be discussed." He explained. "So why don't you sit down and we can continue this civilly." Louis didn't make a gesture at first, but then he dropped his jacket on the back of his chair and sat back down with a huff. 

His head hurt like fucking hell at the end of the meeting and that headache would continue for several weeks, maybe even months, until their divorce would actually be finalized.

The upcoming meetings were fucking hell as well. The worst part was was that Louis held what little hope he had in his heart and prayed that one of those days Harry would call everything off, drop Zach, and they could actually continue on with how they were supposed to. But did Harry even deserve Louis at this point anymore? No. 

Their last session with the mediator was on August 27th. Everything was settled on paper and all that was left for it all to be finalized. 

Amoray had turned six in July, started the first grade on August 19 and Louis did too as he started working at the high school which totally didn't add any unnecessary stress in his life.

He had his own little flat, a crappy used car he bought for the time being, and was doing well back on his feet. Except for his impending divorce, of course. They settled out a joint custody deal with alternating weeks. Oh the joy. 

The eve of August 27th, after a very hellish meeting with Harry and their mediator, going over the finalization process which really wasn't much of a process, he decided he needed a drink. So he went downtown to a local bar and just ordered a simple beer. 

He thought that with time things would get better, but they didn't. He sipped his beer melancholily at the bar while watching…well he didn't know what he was watching, but it wasn't anything he recognized or was particularly interested in. He was too busy self-loathing. 

Two beers down he got up from his bar stool to run to the bathroom quick. And of course, in that time Harry decided he might also like a drink and decided to go to the same exact bar as well. Wow!

He sat down at the empty stool and leaned against the counter, rubbing his temples. He had had a headache for the past three months it seemed. The bartender on the other side of the counter approached him. 

"Good evening, my names John, what can I get you to drink?" 

"Do you have Everclear?" He nodded. "I'll take a shot of that." As the bartender made himself busy making the shot, Louis walked out from the bathroom and around the bar. 

"What the hell are you doing in a bar?" He asked sternly waltzing back up to his stool one over from Harry's. "Aren't you a recovering alcoholic?"

"I've been sober for a year and a half." Harry replied quietly. 

"So you just want to throw that all out the window or what?" 

"You're making me want to, yes." Louis bit his lip, sitting up on his stool. The bartender placed a drink down in front of Harry. When Harry went to pick it up Louis quickly intervened and picked up the glass.

"Hey there, pal, no alcohol for you. Bartender," He called out. "He'll just have a regular coke. No alcohol for him."

"Why do you give a shit?"

"Because I love you." Louis replied softly. "And I don't want to watch you through all the progress you've made out the window because things are getting tough or stressful or all of the above." He replied curtly. 

"No, look, I really just need a drink-"

"Well look, here comes your coke." Louis interrupted as the bartender set down a can of coke. 

"You know what I meant."

"Maybe you should call your sponsor." Louis replied sarcastically. Harry rolled his eyes at him. 

"Shut the fuck up." Louis smiled. "I'm paying for that drink-"

"Then I'll pay you back."

"With what?"

"A firm handshake-"

"Knock it off and give me the drink-"

"Harry, you said you've been sober for a year and half. Why do you want to throw that away? Can you imagine how disappointed you'll be in yourself in the morning once you realize what you've done and for what cause?" Harry just rolled his eyes and rubbed his eyes. He shook his head. 

"Give me the drink."

"Give me your phone." Harry gave him a bewildered look. 

"I beg your pardon?"

"Give me your phone." Harry shook his head. 

"I'm not doing that."

"How desperate are you for your drink?" Louis asked lifting up tiny shot glass. Harry licked his lips, but then looked forward. He picked up the can of coke and took a drink before just shaking his head and placing it down. 

"Give me the drink." He pushed his phone across the counter towards him. Louis picked it up before placing the glass down and 'conveniently' spilling it across the counter. "Fuck!" Harry jumped up off his stool as the liquid pooled over the edge of the counter. 

"Whoops." Louis quickly unlocked Harry's phone, thankful that his passcode hadn't changed, then quickly scanned his contacts for the infamous Zach. He found it and quickly called him. 

"Harry?" He almost immediately answered. 

"Close, it's actually Louis. Look, I found Harry in a bar and he's willing to throw away his sobriety for a drink. Talk to him." He handed the phone to Harry who was glaring at him. He reached out and ripped it out of his hand. 

"What?" He barked into the phone. Louis picked up his napkin and started mopping up the liquid before the bartender wiped it up with a rag. 

"Harry, what the hell are you doing?" 

"Getting a fucking drink-"

"No, you're not. You're coming home. Now."

"You don't get to tell me what to do-"

"Harry, you are not throwing away a year and half of sobriety. You have a daughter who looks up to you and you have me who is going to be extremely disappointed if you actually do this."

"You know, I'm at a point where I don't even give a fuck anymore." Harry said softly into the phone. 

"Come home-"

"I'll be back later." 

"No, come home before you put your sobriety in an even bigger risk-"

"I said I'll be back later which means I'll be back later. Goodbye." He pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up before shoving his phone in his pocket. "Uh, John, can I get another-"

"He's not allowed to have alcohol." Louis interrupted. 

"You're not the fucking boss of me."

"John, if you have any conscience then you'll not give him alcohol." Louis said making the bartender smile. 

"I can make my own decisions-"

"I'm looking out for you, Harry, don't fucking fight me on this." Louis retorted. 

"Why do you give a flying fuck?!" Harry burst out furiously. Louis just took a deep breath. 

"Because although you may no longer love me the way you once did I still love you and although I shouldn't care what you do with your life because we're no longer together, I do and I still want what's best for you and throwing your sobriety out the window because things are stressful really isn't worth it. Trust me, Harry, you don't want to do that. What would Amoray think?" 

"Nothing, because she's fucking six and doesn't know what alcohol is."

"Kids are smarter than you think, Harry." Louis retorted. "Just go home. Get some sleep. Take a few days off from work, or something, just to recuperate."

"Oh, shut the hell up." Harry snapped rolling his eyes. Louis just sat back, his heart in his throat, and watched Harry who had his elbows pressed against the edge of the counter as his thumb between his teeth. His eyes glistening. 

"Are you crying?"

"Do you see fucking tears running down my face?" Harry snapped at him angrily. Louis took a deep breath. 

"You know, you could stop acting like such a fucking asshole to me." He replied in annoyance. Harry just rolled his eyes. "Because I'm not the one to blame here. You are." 

"I know." Louis surely wasn't expecting that to be his response. "And I'm sorry, okay?" He added rather insincerely. "I'm just…really fucking stressed and…and I don't even know half the time what I'm feeling." 

"You should talk to someone about that." Louis said flatly before standing up from his stool. He put on his jacket slowly. "Heaven knows I've felt the same." He picked up his glass and downed the last of his beer before setting it back down and marching out of the door of the bar. He could only hope that Harry would do the right thing and not drink, but Harry didn't even concern Louis anymore, so why should he care?

He shouldn't, but he did and that killed him because Harry obviously didn't care about him so Louis shouldn't care about him, but he still did! 

He contemplated dating. That was a no-go, though, because there was absolutely no way he was ready for that. He had no idea when he would be ready for anything of the sort! He probably never would, that's how he felt. 

On November 14th Louis got the fantastic news that the divorce had been finalized. Harry got what he wanted. What did Louis get, though? Louis got a broken heart.


	3. Chapter 3

It was June 3rd. It had practically been a year since Louis had gotten out of the hospital and his life had been thrown into absolute chaos. Things now, though, he would say are OK. Not great, not particularly good, but OK. He was OK. 

What he wasn't okay with was the fact that Harry and Zach had set the date for June 14th and he was getting fucking sick and tired of hearing about it, mainly from Amoray who just had to show him her dress for the day and as beautiful as she looked in the lavender dress, he wanted to hear absolutely nothing about the wedding and see nothing that had to do it. Like the dress. 

Of course there came that one fateful day where Amoray just had to ask him if he was excited for the wedding. 

They were sitting at the table eating dinner. Louis had made one his personal favorites, cheesy chicken mexi rice, and Amoray was drying to dissect hers by removing all the sliced olives.  

"Are you excited for papas wedding?" She had asked and it took every fiber in Louis's body not to laugh out loud. 

"Sweetheart, I won't be going to his wedding." He replied earning a curiously look from her. 

"Why not?" Louis fought the urge to cringe. He placed his fork down and wiped his lips with his napkin before placing it back down on his lap. 

"Well, as you know, I was once married to your father so it's not exactly appropriate for me to show up to his...other wedding." He explained softly. 

"But why not?" She repeated. "You said you'd be friends and friends support each other." Louis felt his heart soar. 

"I know, little bird, but I wasn't even invited so it'd be rude of me to show up uninvited."

"I can invite you." She stated smiling at him. Louis smiled back softly before shaking his head. 

"It doesn't work that way, sweetpea." 

"You can be my date! Will you be my date, daddy?" She exclaimed making him laugh. 

"Well, I'm sorry honey, but I'm going to have to decline the offer." He told her softly making her frown. 

"Why?"

"Look, it's complicated, you'll better understand once you're older-"

"But why?" Louis took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. He was trying to come up with some analogy he could give so Amoray would understand why he couldn't go, but his mind was turning up nothing and he was running out of things to say. 

"Look, little bird, it's complicated, but I just can't go to the wedding with you. I'm sorry, but I can't." Amoray frowned, pouting up at Louis sadly. 

"Please, daddy?" She asked. "It doesn't have to be complicated, just come with me. I'll help you have fun, c'mon daddy, please?" She pleaded. Louis pursed his lips together. 

"I-"

"Please? Please? Please?" She repeated with a tone full of hope. Louis hesitated before forcing himself to nod his head one, two, three times. 

"Okay, I'll go with you." 

"Yay!" Amoray exclaimed in excitement as her face lit up with happiness and joy. Louis smiled back at her before picking up his fork again, but his heart was heavy with dismay because there was no way he could actually go to the fucking wedding and he probably shouldn't have told Amoray that he would go, but she had sounded so hopeful and Louis didn't want to upset her or cause her unhappiness. 

The next day, after picking Amoray up after school and watching her for a few extra hours, as opposed to Harry picking her directly up, he drove her back to the house and walked her up to the door. His heart was in his stomach and his throat as he knocked on the door.

Harry opened the door with a smile as he immediately looked down at Amoray. 

"Hi, little bird!" He exclaimed cheerfully making her light up. 

"Hi papa!" She squeezed passed him into the house. 

"I need to talk to you." Louis said crossing his arms, turning his head down as Harry looked at him curiously. "Amoray wants me to come to...your little shindig." Louis muttered making Harry force a small laugh.

"Yikes." Louis rolled his eyes. 

"So, I told her I would come." Harry gave him a certain look. 

"You're actually wanting to go?"

"Of course I don't want to fucking go, but I tried to explain to her that I couldn't go and she just kept coming up with different reasons for why I should go and I didn't have the heart to refuse her, so if it's alright with you, I'm going. For Amoray, though, obviously. Not you." Harry nodded. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?" He shook his head. 

"Okay then." Louis stepped back. "Thanks for dropping her off. See you around." Louis just turned around and walked back down the porch. Before driving back to his flat he decided to make a pit stop at his mothers. 

After knocking on her door, he waited patiently for her to answer it. And she did it with a smile. 

"Oh, hi Lou." She greeted smiling cheerfully. 

"Hi mum," Louis greeted back with false joy.

"What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming over." She said looking at him curiously. 

"I need some advice real quick then I'll be on my way." He stated solemnly. 

"Well why don't you come on in and I can try to give you some." She joked as Louis walked into the foyer before striding over into the living room, settling down comfortably on the couch with his mother. "What kind of advice do you need?" She asked. 

"I need advice on how to get through your ex-husbands wedding without bursting into tears." Jays light and playful expression grew solemn with confusion. 

"I beg your pardon?" She asked softly. "Are you...going to Harry's wedding? Is that seriously a good idea, Louis? I mean, isn't kind of a given that the ex doesn't go to the wedding?" 

"I know, I know, but it's important to Amoray that I go with her." Jay gave him a solemn look. "And it's important to her that Harry and I are good friends so I know it might be awkward having the ex-husband at the wedding, and it certainly won't be easy for me to watch, but I'm not going for Harry, I'm going for my daughter who asked me to be her date to the wedding when I told I wasn't going." Jay smiled. 

"Are you really sure, though?" She asked him seriously. He nodded. "I mean, I know Amoray is your daughter, but in a situation like this you should really think about what's best for you too and if going to this wedding won't be good then I'm sure Amoray will understand whether it be now, or in the future." Louis just sighed and nodded. 

"I know, and, I mean, it'll be hard on whether I go or not, obviously harder if I go, but I already told her that I would go with her and to take that back now would upset her and...I will be fine." 

"You're sure?" Louis nodded and Jay reached over, squeezing his wrist affectionately. "Okay then." She smiled and Louis smiled back. 

"Thanks mum." Louis stood up and Jay followed suit. He gave her a gentle hug. "Sorry if I put you out for five minutes, but I have to go now and I just needed to get that off my chest." Jay laughed sweetly making him smile. 

"Well then I guess I'll just see you around sometime soon." She joked walking back to the door with him. 

"Maybe." He joked opening the door. "Now I just have to make sure I can actually get myself out of bed that day." They both laughed, shared smiles, then parted with sweet goodbyes. 

The days leading up to the wedding were absolute hell. He was seriously regretting telling Amoray that he would go with her, but somehow he still ended up sitting in the second row of the venue with Amoray sitting excitedly beside him. 

He had felt nauseous ever since he woke up and no matter how much Aleve he took his head was still splitting. He felt so fucking awkward because sitting in front of him were Anne, Gemma, and some other family members then sitting in the rows behind him were the rest of his family and friends, some of the same people who attended their wedding! 

And sitting on the opposite side were all of Zach's family and friends and Louis just wanted to fucking die. Why did he think he should do this. He should've just braved Amorays disappointment and/or tantrum that would've happened, but...he didn't. 

He tried not to let his anger and hostility show, but he had never been good at hiding his feelings. He sat slouched in his chair with a scowl on his face and his arms crossed tightly across his chest. 

He was doing okay at the beginning of the wedding, only feeling slightly teary eyed. But then came the infamous moment where they were supposed to say 'I do,' and Louis fought back his tears. 

Everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong and Harry had no idea what he was supposed to do to make that feeling go away. He was confused, uncertain, doubtful, unsettled, just everything that was testing his patience and his sanity. 

He woke up in the morning feeling tired, doubtful, and drained of life when he should've been feeling alive and excited. For the past three years he felt like he was just going through the motions while also feeling like he was trying to escape quicksand, but only sinking deeper and deeper the harder to tried. So he just stopped trying. 

He had been in a haze the entire day. He was spaced out, cognitively slow, and just out of sorts. He figured, though, that once he actually stood in front of Zach all those feelings would melt away and he'd be absolutely, 100% sure that that was all he wanted, but he had no idea what he wanted! 

He thought those feelings would go away once his and Louis's divorce had been finalized, but they didn't and at that point he was at the point of no return! And now he was getting ready to say 'I do,' and the feelings still weren't leaving him! Zach was smiling at him and Harry found himself forcing a smile back and he just prayed that no one could see how transparent he was being. 

Everything that had happened since he woke up was just a blur. Not even a blur. He hardly had any memory of the previous hours. He was just dreaming for it all to end. 

Suddenly the reverend cleared his throat and Harry wasn't sure if this was where he was supposed to say 'I do' or not. Zach squeezed his hands reassuringly and Harry just swallowed thickly, his throat was completely dry. 

"I beg your pardon?" He asked meekly making everyone in the audience laugh. Zach just watched him carefully. 

"Do you take Zach to be your lawfully wedded husband?" He repeated with a small smile. Harry looked at Zach before swallowing again, trying to do anything to get rid of the lump in his throat! 

"I...," He trailed off before thinking that for a second he was going to pass out. He looked out at the faces in the crowd even though he knew he shouldn't. He glanced at his mother who had a small smile on her face, but he still knew that even after a year she was still the least bit disappointed in him. And he knew that shouldn't bother him, but it did. 

Then his eyes went to Louis sitting behind her with Amoray sitting beside him. And he had tears running down his cheeks. His face was red and his eyes were glistening in the bright lights above. Their eyes locked. Louis reached up, wiping his eyes in an attempt to dry them. He glanced back at Harry, pressing his lips together in a small, apathetic smile. 

Harry glanced back at Zach who was giving him a questionable look, then back at Louis, then back at Zach. 

"I...I'm sorry," Harry let go of his hands and took a hesitant step back. He was sure he actually heard some people in the audience gasp. "I can't do this." And then he did something he never in a million years thought he would do and that's turn to walk down the aisle into the foyer of the venue. 

Zach just stood there completely stunned, completely embarrassed, unsure of what had even just happened. Did Harry seriously just leave him at the alter? 

Louis's heart was beating 50x faster than before, but he just sat there and watched with a little glee as Zach, who was red, red, red in the face, hurry down the aisle after Harry who had took refuge in the bathroom. He was splashing cold water on his face when Zach stormed in, slamming the door. 

"What the hell was that, Harry? You can't just...do that in front of everyone!"

"What the hell else was I supposed to do?" Zach took a deep breath, giving Harry a disheartened look that made him just turn away. 

"You meant it, then?" He asked softly. Harry just took a deep breath and shrugged while nodding his head at the same time. "What did you mean by you couldn't do this?" 

"I just...I can't marry you." 

"Can't or don't want to?" Zach asked him in a harsher tone. "Because there's a pretty big fucking difference between the two."

"I just...I can't because I don't want to. I just can't go through with something knowing that my heart isn't completely and fully invested in to making it work. If I'm going to marry you then I want there to be no doubt and I want to be completely and undoubtedly in love, but I'm not." Zach swallowed thickly, nodding slowly. 

"Is this because of your piece of shit ex husband sitting in the fucking second row?" Harry drew in a hesitant breath. 

"Do not talk about him like that, but yes." Zach scoffed in anger. "I thought I was over him, I thought I had let him go so we could do this, but...I was wrong." 

"You got a fucking divorce from him! How the hell can you now tell me that you still have feelings for him!" He shouted furiously. 

"Because ever since he came home up until now I was not sure if I did or not." Harry explained calmly, although he realized he sounded like a complete douchebag. 

"I can not fucking believe you." Harry just shrugged. "Why did it take you until now to realize all this?"

"I don't know, it just did." Zach scoffed again, shaking his head. 

"So you really want to throw away everything we had? Everything we've been through?" 

"Well, yes, I guess. I mean, saying I want to throw it away makes it sound harsher than I want it to be, but...us getting married, us even being together, is not going to work because I'm still in love with Louis." 

"Well why the fuck are you just now realizing that!" He shouted. "Why couldn't you have realized that when he just fucking came home? Throughout the entire time your divorce was being worked out? Throughout our entire wedding planning process? Why the hell did it have to be now right in front of all our friends and family? In front of everyone?"

"Well it's better now than afterwards!" Harry yelled back. "God, these passed months have been filled with complete uncertainty for me and I figured that once I stood in front of you at the wedding all my doubt and uncertainty would just vanish because I'd be sure that this is 100% what I wanted, but...those feelings didn't go away and I know in my heart that this is not what I want." Zach just scratched his forehead and took a step back. He bit the inside of his cheek. 

"Fuck you." Harry expected that. "Fuck you, fuck Louis, fuck everything you fucking bastard." Harry just shrugged. 

"I'm sorry." Zach just flipped him off as he walked to the door. 

"You can go out and tell everyone to go home. I will go clear my things out of the house. If I accidentally leave anything then it's yours to keep. I hope karma works up a fucking storm for you, you fucking son of bitch." He opened the door and stormed out, leaving Harry just standing there taking in everything that had just happened. He took a deep breath, fix his bow tie, then went to the door. 

He stepped outside only to be greeted by his worrisome looking mother. 

"Harry, are you alright? What's wrong?" She asked him urgently. Harry just shrugged. 

"There's no wedding." He simply said.

"Why not?" 

"Because I didn't want to do it." He admitted. "He's not who I want to be with. I thought he was, but I was wrong. I know it's inconvenient, but...I just couldn't go through with it." Anne opened her mouth to say something only to be cut off by their wedding planner, Alex. 

"Okay, Harry, what's going on? Talk to me. Zach just stormed out of here furiously, I'm pretty sure he is actually leaving." She exclaimed frantically. 

"The weddings off." He simply stated. "So, if you want me to go back out there and explain it then that's fine, but...I don't really think it'd be...appropriate for lack of better terms if I did that. Especially now." Alex nodded her head.

"Don't worry, I can handle it. I, um, yeah. I'll go do that now." Harry just nodded as she turned around and strode back towards the ceremonial area. Everyone turned and watched her as she walked up to the front. 

Louis watched her questionably. His heart was still racing, but his tears had subsided. His head was also spinning. Was he dreaming?

"I apologize for any inconvenience, but there will be no wedding today." She explained calmly. "If anyone has any questions of any sort feel free to ask me, besides why, and...yeah. Again, we apologize for any inconvenience." There was hum of murmurs from everyone in the crowd before people began to slowly stand up and move around. Louis just sat there as Amoray tugged on his sleeve. 

"Is it over, daddy?" She asked him softly. Louis shook his head. 

"Papas not getting married today, little bird." He told her. 

"Why not?"

"I don't know, sweetheart." He replied with a shrug. "Maybe we'll find out later." She just nodded. 

"Am I still going to grandma Anne's?" 

"Maybe, I'll double check with her." Louis stood up from his chair. "C'mon little bird, let's skadaddle." 

"Don't say skadaddle, dad." Amoray told him seriously which only made him laugh. "You sound uncool." 

"Excuse me, I happen to sound extremely cool." Louis replied stepping into the aisle with her hand in his. 

"If that's what you think." She replied making Louis laugh even louder.

"Are you sassing me?" He teased as they walked down the aisle, which was flooded with people. Anne briskly pushed her way through and breezed past Louis. "Oh, Anne," He paused, turning to face her. She stopped and turned to face him as well. "I was just wondering if you still wanted to have Amoray over tonight. I'd understand if you'd maybe want to change nights." 

"Oh, of course not, I loved to have her over still." She exclaimed with a large smile making Louis smile back. 

"Okay, I just wanted to check." She nodded. "I'll see you at 5, then."

"See you then." They both smiled before heading back in their different directions. Louis was glad just to leave the building. His headache had dissipated, his heart was beating somewhat calmly, and his stomach had untwisted from its knot. 

He took Amoray home and watched her until the hour of 5 came upon them then he drove her to Anne's to spend the night. 

"Hi Amoray!" She greeted happily after opening the door. 

"Hi grandma!" Amoray greeted back over zealously. Amoray walked into the house and Anne stepped in front of the gape between the open door and door frame. 

"So, how is everything?" He asked stuffing his hands in his pockets. Anne just managed a lazy smile and shrugged her shoulders. 

"I honestly don't know." She admitted. "I'm just...trying to take it all in." She joked lightly making Louis laugh. "How are you doing?" 

"I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. And thanks for still watching Amoray tonight."

"It's my pleasure, I love having her over." Louis smiled, his cheeks turning pink in the orange setting sun. 

"She loves coming here so obviously you're doing something right." He teased. Anne laughed and a moment later they were parting with sweet goodbyes. Louis went home and relaxed for a bit. 'For a bit' meaning an hour and a half before getting a call from Anne with Amoray on the line begging him to bring over her coloring book she forgot. 

So then Louis spent thirty minutes scouring his flat from top to messy bottom trying to find her goddamn coloring book before admitting defeat and getting in his car to drive over to Harry's place because where else would it be?

When he pulled up the curb he could already see Harry was outside sitting on the porch making him all the more apprehensive. He climbed out of his car and slowly approached the porch, stepping up the stairs which creaked loudly beneath his feet. 

Harry just kept his stoic demeanor before glancing back out at the street. He was still in his tux. 

"Hey there, buckaroo." Louis greeted softly as he walked over to the porch seat and sat down beside Harry who was still just staring out at the street vacantly. "Amoray forgot her coloring book so I told her I'd grab it and it's not at my place so I assume it's here." Louis turned his head, looking at him. Harry didn't move a muscle or say a word. "How are you doing?" He sighed. 

"I...fucked everything up." He said a moment later. "I'm a horrible person." Louis scoffed a laugh, nodding his head. 

"Well, I told you not to let your husband ruin the wedding." Harry didn't respond with any word or gesture again. "Or ex husband." Louis took a deep breath. "What changed?" 

"I just...couldn't do it." He stated. "Ever since you came home I've been filled with doubt and confusion and uncertainty and I thought I truly wanted to be with Zach so I thought that if we got a divorce then all those feelings plaguing me would go away, but they didn't. So I thought that maybe I was just nervous and that if we actually got married then that would make all those feelings go away because...I thought that was what I wanted, but as I was standing up there, getting ready to fucking say 'I do' I realized that those feelings weren't going away and I looked at you and...I just realized that Zach was not the person I wanted to be with." 

"And who do you want to be with?" Louis asked softly. 

"You." Harry deadpanned. Louis pursed his lips together and shifted around uneasily. 

"You can't just...go through with a divorce and almost a wedding then decide halfway through the wedding that I'm the one you want to be with." Harry nodded. 

"I was wrong and misguided by uncertainty. I apologize for hurting you and putting you through all that." 

"You didn't just hurt me, though, Harry. You walked me through hell and left me there on your way out." Harry scoffed. 

"I never left hell. I've been stuck in hell for the past three years." He muttered. Louis took a deep breath. 

"Hells a fun place, isn't it?" He remarked sarcastically, not having the first clue as to what else to say. 

"So fun." Harry mumbled flatly and kept his eyes trained on the street lamps lighting up the road. Louis watched him closely, to see for any flicker of emotion or just something in his face, but he just looked numb. "I am sorry for how I have treated you ever since you came out of the hospital." Harry turned and looked at him. "I was out of line, I was a complete jerk, you didn't deserve it, yet I was still an asshole. And for that I sincerely apologize." Louis felt his heart flutter, but he showed no signs of it. Instead he just nodded. 

"I forgive you."

"Thank you." It was quiet between them. 

"Thank you for being sincere." Harry just nodded. They both faced forward and Harry sighed in exhaustion. 

"So," Louis glanced at him while Harry just kept facing forward. "What happens now?" Louis was quiet for a moment, contemplating how to even answer that question. 

"Well, were you serious about wanting to be with me?" Harry turned to look him in the eyes as he nodded. 

"I was." Louis just pursed his lips together, nodding back slowly. 

"If we were to get back together then things would be taken extremely slowly." Louis told him sternly. "And I mean extremely slow. You're going to have to rebuild all the trust, loyalty, commitment, everything I had placed in you which you shattered because you didn't know what you wanted. But most importantly the trust."

"Define extremely slow."

"Why do I have to define it for you?" 

"I just want it to be clear between us both so I know what the boundaries are and what is expected." Harry answered without hesitation.

"I mean we start off with small little dates, don't give me compliments and don't try to kiss me afterwards. I just want it to be casual and relaxed, granted things might be and feel awkward at first, it's going to take time for things to go back to normal, and I'm talking years so if that's not something you can respect then just say it now." Harry didn't say anything. "And never bring up anything from the past. I accept your apology for hurting me, and I forgive you for how you acted." He nodded. 

"Seems kind of contradictory-" Louis punched him in the arm, making Harry laugh. "I'm just joking."

"And I'm not." Louis shot back unamused. Harry nodded then turned to look at him. 

"Maybe you'd like to go out to dinner sometime?" He suggested softly. 

"When?" 

"Friday." 

"Where?" Harry shrugged. 

"Where do you want to go?" Louis thought for a moment. 

"McDonalds." 

"Okay then, which one?" Louis managed a small smile. 

"The one up north, closest to my place." Harry nodded. 

"I can meet you there at six, I'll find someone to watch Amoray." Louis nodded back, sitting up promptly. 

"Okay then, sounds good." 

"I look forward to dining with you." Louis laughed softly as he stood up off the bench. 

"Ditto." Harry looked up at him. "It's not, like, an official date, or anything, okay? It's just...us getting fast food together and talking like two friends." Harry nodded. 

"Sounds like a plan." Louis smiled. 

"Thanks." Harry nodded again. "Well, goodnight." Louis turned and stepped forward towards the stairs. 

"Um, Louis?" Louis's heart stopped in his chest as he turned to look at Harry. "Amorays coloring book?" Louis face palmed himself making Harry chuckle as he stood up. 

"Right, of course. I can't believe I almost forgot it." 

"I think I know the one she wants, I can just run up and grab it." Louis nodded, crossing his arms as Harry walked into the house. Louis glanced around the porch then up at the nighttime sky. A moment later Harry was stepping back out on the porch with the coloring book in hand. 

"Thank you." Louis said kindly as he took the book. Harry smiled at him sweetly, his heart fluttering. 

"No problem." 

"Have a goodnight." Louis smiled, stepping back towards the steps. 

"Thank you, you too." Harry moved towards the door again. "Oh, and I forgot to tell you," Louis spoke again earning a curious look from Harry. 

"Forgot to tell me what?"

"You look awful in that tux." Harry grinned slowly before looking down at himself. 

"I know." They were both all shy smiles and butterflies before turning and parting ways. Something they had done one too many times. 

For once in almost three years Louis felt as if the weight on his shoulders had been lifted. He felt as if he were actually living for once. He felt alive, happy…he was content. 

The days leading up to their little dinner get together was full of butterflies and apprehension. Although Jay did not think it was a good idea for him and Harry to get back together so soon, Louis assured they weren't actually back together yet and that he would handle it appropriately. He could take care of himself. 

So at six o'clock he drove over to the McDonalds and parked right beside Harry conveniently, who was seated in his car on his phone. Louis unusually nervous, but it was a good nervous. It was first-date-kind-of-jitters despite it not being an actual date. 

They both climbed out of their cars. 

"Good evening," Harry greeted kindly as they stepped up on the sidewalk, walking towards the entrance. 

"Good evening to you too." Louis replied making Harry smile. Harry politely opened the door for him and Louis thanked him graciously. The delightful smell that was greasy fast food filled their sense of smell. They stood in the back, staring up at the menu. 

"I don't even know why I bother looking at the menu, I get the same thing every time." Harry remarked with a small laugh. Louis glanced up at him with a smile before looking back at the menu above the cashier counter. 

"I know, you should live a little and try something new." 

"Eh, I hate change. Think I'll stick with what I'm used to, maybe another time." 

"I'll hold you to that." Louis still stared up at the menu, contemplating what he wanted to order. Harry turned and glanced at him. 

"You look nice." He complimented before his eyes widened and he sighed with defeat. "Wow, it hasn't even been two minutes and I stepped outside the boundary." He laughed lightly. "I'm sorry, I realize you said no compliments, that this isn't anything official, I hope-"

"It's okay." Louis replied softly. "Thank you." Harry smiled. 

"Well you're welcome, ready to order?" Louis nodded. 

"Yeah, you go first." He said waving him forward. They both stepped up the counter with a young teenager smiling happily at them from behind the cash register. They each ordered their meals separately, got their drinks, then settled down in a rather repulsive booth. Harry had gotten the 10 piece chicken nugget meal because that's all he ever got and Louis got a quarter pounder. 

"So how's the high school?" Harry asked him curiously as he picked up a few of his fries. 

"It's been a hellish year, but I'm content." Louis replied softly, opening the little box his burger was in. "It's so much more modern and sophisticated looking, though, it's hard to believe it's just a high school and not an office building." 

"I haven't seen it yet, but I have heard that it's a lot more different than the other two high schools." Louis nodded. 

"And how is the advertising industry?" He asked making Harry laugh with a full mouth. 

"Oh, you know, if the clients are happy and their products are selling then I've done my job." He joked. Louis smiled at him before looking down to dip his fry in the ketchup. "It's going pretty well, actually. Thank you for asking." He added making Louis laugh. 

"No problem." 

"So, tell me, what is the strangest thing that has happened to you in the classroom?" Harry asked curiously making him laugh again. Harry grinned at him as he sipped his coke. 

"Oh boy, I don't even know if I could pinpoint just one occasion." He said wiping his hands with his napkin before crumpling it and dropping it onto the tray. "I don't know if it's really strange, but one time I walked in on two guys in the middle of a blowjob in the bathroom. That was extremely awkward." He explained making Harry laugh boisterously. "Oh my goodness, and earlier in the year my art four class was doing cardboard sculptures and of course, that involves them using box cutters to cut out the cardboard, and I reminded them everyday to use the box cutters carefully and safely, not the cut near themselves and this one guy was cutting a piece in half and he was cutting towards his body and once he got to the end of the cardboard he ended up puncturing his stomach with the box cutter!" Louis exclaimed boisterously. "It was so messy and he ended up having to get stitches, but it was just horrible and I felt so bad and…let's say everyone cut away from themselves after that." 

"Oh wow, that sounds…intense." Louis laughed and Harry just watched him because he looked so youthful and so beautiful. His eyes twinkled brightly in the lights and he was really the only pure and beautiful thing in the entire fast food chain. 

"Let's just say when I heard him yell 'oh shit, I really fucked up' I wasn't expecting him to turn around with his shirt and hand covered in blood." Harry beamed at him before picking up one of his nuggets and biting into half of it. 

"So," He wiped his lips with his napkin. "What did you do? Did you just call 911?" Louis nodded. 

"I had no idea what to do, I completely panicked and then some girls in the class started panicking because apparently they can't stand the sight of blood. So I called 911, and then the other art teacher called the office, and then he was taken to the hospital." Louis sipped his soda. "How're some of your clients?" Harry just grinned and shrugged. 

"They're actually pretty alright, although I've had one accuse me of being homophobic." They both laughed with each other and Louis just felt so light and comfortable sitting and talking with Harry. 

"Wow, how did they jump to that conclusion?"

"We had an ad campaign we made for their company which featured a hetero couple, it was for some erectile dysfunction medication, and when one of the guys said he wanted to make it diverse I had to explain that going back to make a completely different ad would put a lot of hard work from the other employees to waste and all the time we had spent on it to waste as well and that if that's what he wanted for the ad then he should've made it clear from the beginning. So he accused me of being homophobic, I told him I myself was homosexual and that shut him up quite quick." He joked lightly making Louis smile. 

"Sounds like you handed it quite well." He teased. 

"Well they didn't drop us so I say I did a pretty okay job." Louis smiled at him before glancing down at his tray. Harry smiled back at him fondly, his heart fluttering in a way he only used to feel in his memories. "So, how's your burger?" He asked with a humble smirk making Louis laugh. 

"Oh, you know, mediocre." Harry laughed with him. "How are your chicken nuggets?"

"Oh, you know, chicken-y."

"Chicken-y?" Louis repeated humorously. Harry tried to suppress his smile, nodding. 

"Yes, chicken-y." 

"Sounds exquisite." 

"Oh, it is. Would you care to try one?" Louis shook his head politely. 

"No thank you, chicken-y isn't my kind of taste." He joked and Harry just laughed again. He had been doing quite a lot of laughing recently. He liked that. 

"Maybe there's chicken in your burger."

"Well if I can't taste it then I'm fine with it." Louis retorted with a smirk before taking a big bite out of his burger. 

"Disgusting." 

"What if cows laid eggs and chickens just gave live birth?" Louis asked making Harry laugh loudly. 

"How big would the eggs be if cows laid them?"

"I'd say at least 3 feet tall."

"Yikes, that would be fun to lay." Louis chuckled. 

"But if cows laid eggs and chickens didn't then eggs would be obsolete and we wouldn't have scrambled eggs, or fried eggs, or-"

"You're worried about not having eggs if cows laid them instead?" Harry interrupted teasingly. Louis just gave him a dismissive look and waved him off. 

"You worked in a bakery. You know how important eggs are." Harry just laughed, but didn't disagree. 

"I can't disagree with that." Louis smiled proudly. The rest of their little dinner was full of light conversation and laughter. At the end they walked out to their cars and maybe idled to say goodbye. 

"Well, tonight was fun." Louis said softly making Harry smile. 

"I had fun tonight too." Louis smiled at the pavement. "Maybe, if you'd like, we can go to Burger King next time." Harry remarked making Louis laugh. God, he felt so alive. 

"Maybe." He teased. "I'll see you around." Harry nodded, stepping around Louis's car to his own. 

"Goodnight." Louis flashed him another beautiful smile. 

"Goodnight." They parted with shy smiles before heading home and going to bed wondering why they felt like they were 18 again. 

-

It was June 2cd and Louis and Harry were seated across from each other at the table. Harry collected the plates from the table and strode over into the kitchen. 

"It's been awhile since you ever cooked something so good." Louis teased from his seat at the kitchen table. Harry laughed from in the kitchen as he set their dirty dishes and silverware in the sink. 

It had been almost two years. Two years of working together to rebuild the trust that was once nonexistent. Two years of proving that Harry knew what he wanted, that he was loyal, and that he did in fact love Louis with all his heart and soul. Two years of proving that love and commitment. 

And they were happy. 

"Excuse me, I used to be a baker-"

"Haz, working the register at a bakery doesn't make you a baker." Louis teased watching him as he walked over to the fridge. 

"Um, you must be mistaken because I distinctly remember baking in the kitchen when I worked there." He joked back. Louis just laughed, glancing away with a smile. Harry pulled a bowl of strawberries out from the fridge and placed it on the counter before taking another bowl out of the cabinet and filling it with whipped cream. Then he picked up the bowls and walked back over to the table, placing them down in the middle as he sat down across from Louis. 

"Strawberries and whipped cream? Very fancy." Louis teased reaching out to grab one. Harry grinned at him. 

"I hope you wouldn't expect anything short of the less." He replied taking one as well and swiping it in the whipped cream. "Remember when you would feed me strawberries?" Harry asked eyeing Louis with a smirk. 

"Remember when you fucking choked on one and threw up all over me?" He retorted making Harry burst out into boisterous laughter. "That was the last time we ate strawberries together." Harry's laughter had subsided and they were both just smiling at each other, enjoying the sweet taste of strawberries on their tongues. 

"We should redo that moment." He replied promiscuously making Louis smirk. He laughed softly as he placed down the leafy top of his strawberry and picked up another one from the bowl. 

"You do realize we're 34 and not 20, right?" He patronized and Harry didn't hesitated to nod. 

"Better late than never." He said with a shrug.

"What's your motive, Styles?" 

"Well, I'm trying to get you to sit in my lap and feed me strawberries like the God I am-" Louis laughed making Harry smile at him. God, Louis was still so beautiful. He had never stopped being beautiful. 

"A God, now?" He nodded again. "Well then," Louis stood up from his chair and sauntered around the table as Harry fought his urge to laugh at the humor behind the situation. Louis sat himself down on Harry's lap so that he was facing him. He locked eyes with Harry as he bit into the tip of the strawberry. "Maybe I'll just sit on your lap and feed myself strawberries." Harry smirked up at him, placing a hands on his waist gently. 

"Then I'll just watch you and try not to get turned on." Louis smiled. "Oops, too late." They both laughed. Louis held up the strawberry in front of Harry's lips and he opened his mouth before biting into it. As Louis pulled the strawberry away he brought it up to his own lips again and took a bite. 

Harry licked his lips and in the next moment Louis was leaning in to kiss him. Their lips met softly, like two flower petals brushing against each other. Louis's stomach fluttered with the most delicate of butterflies as Harry's hand squeezed his waist gently. He draped his arms around Harry's shoulders, letting his hands hang off the edge of the chair. 

His lips tasted like the sweetest candy, or in this case strawberries, and adrenaline was coursing through his veins. His heart was beating faster, but in a good way. The sound of deep, wet kissing made the butterflies in his stomach swirl. 

When they pulled away they were both breathing deeply and pressed their foreheads together. Louis reached over to the kitchen counter to place the half eaten strawberry down. Harry's hands felt soft on his waist. 

"You taste like strawberries." He whispered. 

"Wanna find out what else I taste like?" Louis whispered back breathing deeply. Harry lifted his head, peering up at Louis with a curious glint in his eyes. He smiled a bit. 

"You sure about that?" He asked. Louis looked at him solemnly, nodding. "Well, technically I already kn-"

"Don't ruin the moment," Louis interrupted hitting his chest which only made him smile wider. 

"So we're both in agreement that a moment is happening." Louis laughed softly, shaking his head. 

"I...I'm being serious." Harry took a deep breath. 

"Then I guess the next question is if you're absolutely positive this is what you want to do." Louis nodded. 

"Do you? This isn't just about me." Harry marveled up at him before nodding slowly. 

"I do. I really do." Louis smiled modestly, suddenly feeling very shy. "Are you sure we're ready for this, though? This is rather impromptu." He teased lightly squeezing his waist playfully. 

"It's almost been two years, Harry." Louis responded. "I think we're ready." He placed his hands on Harry's shoulders before standing up off his lap. "So then," He turned and sauntered away from the table, towards the stairs. Harry quickly stood up and followed after him like an excited puppy. 

They breezed up the stairs with ease before turning to the bedroom door. Louis pushed it open and stepped into the dark room with Harry behind his every step. Harry closed the door then turned to Louis, excitement making his eyes bright. 

"I should probably find a condom first." Harry stated making him laugh. 

"Hurry before I lose interest." He joked back. Louis walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it while Harry walked into the bathroom. Louis felt giddy, but nervous as well, like he was about to experience his first time all over again. His stomach was in a whirlwind of bees and butterflies and his heart was fluttering like he was on a first date. 

He could hear Harry shuffling around in the bathroom making his palms sweaty. He wiped them against his thighs before Harry reappeared, turning out the bathroom light. The moonlight was the only source of light. Besides the light in Louis's eyes of course. 

"Might be...really old, but oh well." Harry joked lightly. Louis managed a small smile. Harry tossed the condom over on the nightstand before stepping in front of Louis who looked up at him meekly. "You okay?" He asked softly. Louis nodded. 

"Yeah," He assured. "I'm just...kind of nervous." He smiled shyly. 

"You know, we don't have to do this. If you want to wait and we can actually talk about-"

"I still want to." Louis interrupted. "You know, I've actually been thinking about it a lot and...we don't have to do it tonight if you don't want to, but either way I think we've reached the point in our relationship where we're ready for...physical intimacy. Again." He added as a joke and Harry laughed so beautifully it made Louis's heart fill with joy and he smiled brightly. 

"I couldn't agree more." Louis moved up on his knees as Harry watched him intently. Louis smiled shyly. Harry started leaning in to kiss him again before pausing only centimeters away from sealing the deal. "You're 100% positive?"

"Just fucking kiss me already." Louis reached out and cupped Harry's cheeks in his hands, pulling him in as their lips met. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis's waist and pulled him as close as he could. 

Louis felt happy. He felt safe. He felt comfortable and he felt confident. Kind of. He loved the way Harry's hands felt around his waist. It made him feel loved and wanted. 

Their bodies were washed in the soft gray tones of the moonlight peeking in through the blinds. Harry's lips were sweet, but his tongue was even sweeter and Louis couldn't help but find himself wanting more. 

Harry pulled up Louis's shirt, untucking it from his pants and for some reason it made Louis smile and when Louis smiled then of course Harry smiled and then they both started laughing. 

"I have no idea why I'm laughing." Louis whispered moving his hands from Harry's cheeks down onto his shoulders. 

"I'm only laughing because you are." Harry whispered back brushing the tips of their noses together. He reached up and started unbuttoning Louis's shirt slowly. Louis followed suit and reached up to unbutton Harry's shirt. He felt 18 again. 

Harry opened his shirt before marveling at his body. 

"God, you're still so beautiful." He leaned in to kiss him again, but Louis just started laughing again so all they were really doing was laughing into each other's mouths as they scrambled to pull away each other's shirts. 

They dropped them to the floor precariously before Louis moved back onto the bed and Harry climbed on after him, moving overtop him as Louis laid on his back. Harry's hands pressed into the mattress as he held himself up over Louis who was leaning up feverishly to kiss him again. He was getting hard. They both were. 

Their lips met in a sweet, yet lascivious, manner. It made Louis's stomach coil together in a way that made him yearn for Harry's gentle touch. Louis reached down for the button of Harry's pants, quickly undoing it without getting sidetracked from the kiss. 

Harry ended up pulling away, though, and kneeled back to pull of his pants, practically rolling on his back trying to pull them off from around his ankles. Louis started laughing and removed his own pants while Harry moved back up on his knees. Louis dropped his pants off the edge of the bed. 

"Hm, look a little hard there." Harry leaning in closer to him. Louis sat back on his knees and Harry's lips brushed against his neck. 

"Who's fault is that?" Louis whispered letting his eyes fluttered shut, delving into the pleasure coursing through his entire body it felt. Harry nipped his skin gently. "No, no marks on my neck. Schools not out for another week and a half and I don't need my students questioning me about a love bite on my neck." Harry laughed softly and nodded. 

"Why don't you lay down again then." He whispered with a smirk. Louis felt giddy with excitement and laid back down in the middle of the bed. When he gazed up at Harry, who looked so beautiful washed in the dark tones of the night, and felt his heart pour out with love. 

Harry moved lower so that their bodies were pressed together. He kissed his neck gently before moving lower. He pressed light, open mouthed kisses to his chest before kissing his soft, soft, soft tummy which was, did he mention, soft? Louis reached down and coursed his fingers through Harry's hair gently. 

Harry's lips were so soft. Soft like velvet, soft like silk, soft like cashmere. They left behind the feeling of love and admiration because if love wasn't driving their actions then what were they doing? 

Harry moved himself even lower, burying his face between Louis's spread legs. He turned his face and kissed his soft thighs. He nipped at the skin before actually biting and sucking pretty pink marks onto his milky white thighs. Louis tried to hold in his little whimpers, but Harry's lips felt so fucking good against his skin and it ended up slipping his lips by mistake and at that point it didn't even sound like a whimper, it sounded like he was suffocating and gasping for air. 

Harry started laughing, his laughter was muffled between Louis's thighs and the bed. Harry pushed himself up on his hands and moved back up over Louis, grinning down at him. Louis smiled back up at him the laughed as he glanced back down at his body. 

"Whoa there," Harry teased bringing his eyes back up to meet Louis's. He rolled his hips down to grind their crotches together. Louis's breath caught making Harry grin. "Someone's excited." He whispered making Louis smile. 

"Could say the same for you." Louis replied and Harry laughed. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, splaying his hand against his lower back. Their lips met in a bruising kiss. Despite the lechery driving their actions, it was the gentleness and love behind their actions that made it mean something. 

Harry reached down and was quick to remove his own boxers and discard them to the side before pulling down Louis's gleefully. Louis moaned ever-so softly and Harry reached over to the nightstand, pulling it over. 

"Pretty positive I have some old lube in here." He said softly and Louis just nodded, feeling warm perspiration already gleam over his body. "Ah-ha!" Louis laughed as Harry held up the little bottle of lube like it was a trophy. He sat back on his knees and pulled Louis's legs up and around his waist. 

Louis felt his heart race as he gazed up at Harry. Harry glanced down at him with a smile before turning his attention back to the lube as he opened it. Louis placed his palm on his lower chest and let his other arm just lay against his side. 

Harry smothered a good amount of lube on his fingers before placing it beside him. With his other hand he gripped Louis's thigh and pulled him closer. 

"Are you ready?" Louis took a deep breath and nodded. 

"Just go easy a bit. It's been a while." Harry smiled and nodded. He leaned forward and reached down. The second Harry pressed the tip of his finger against Louis's hole he gasped. 

"Oh, fuck." He whispered as Harry slowly eased his finger in. 

"Feel alright?" Louis nodded. 

"Bit weird." He laughed and Harry smiled. Louis's eye fluttered shut and he bit his bottom lip as Harry pushed his finger all the way in. "Ooh, that feels weird." He whispered breathlessly. Harry just smiled again and watched Louis closely as he pulled his finger out then slowly thrust it in again. 

Soon he was able to ease in a second finger and then by the time he had managed to ease in even a third finger Louis wasn't even trying to keep himself quiet no matter how awkward the noises sounded. 

"Think you're ready?" Harry asked softly and Louis nodded, his eyes still closed gently. 

"Yeah." Harry slowly removed his fingers before quickly reaching over for the condom. He unwrapped it, threw the wrapper aside, and rolled it on properly before picking up the line again. He slicked it on thickly because he'd rather have a bit too much rather than too little. 

After wiping his hand against the bed sheet he hooked his arms under Louis's legs and raised them a bit higher for easier positioning. He pressed his tip against his hole before pushing in slightly. 

"Oh, fuck." Louis cursed and gripped the bed sheet tightly in his palm. Harry pushed in a bit more and Louis's mouth dropped open. "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, that feels really weird."

"Slower?" 

"Just a bit." Harry nodded and paused a bit to give Louis a moment to adjust. Pain was evident in his expression and his breathing had grown heavy. A moment later he started to push in a bit further. 

Once he was in all the way he paused there for a moment and Louis was breathing heavily through his mouth. It fucking hurt, like, a lot. But as he should've remembered soon all the pain would melt away and be replaced with pleasure. Right?

Harry slowly pulled out before pushing back in. Louis's face scrunched together and he shook his head. 

"Is everything alright? Talk to me, do you want me to go slower? Do you want to stop?" Louis shook his head vigorously. 

"No, no." He replied breathlessly. "Just…keep going at the pace you were. Just trying to get used to it. Like I said, it's been years." Harry smiled softly. He leaned down and began to kiss Louis passionately as he began to slowly push in again. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's back, his nails digging into the soft flesh as he pulled out and he actually began to thrust a bit faster. 

The pain had began to somewhat subside, but it was still there. Louis began to move his hips in time with Harry's thrusts and that was enough to make the pleasure exceed the pain. 

He moaned into Harry's mouth softly and Harry ran his hand up Louis's thigh smoothly. He always had the most shapely legs that Harry adored. 

The bed was beginning to cream beneath them and Louis couldn't help but smile. Harry's thrust were faster than both of them felt they were. They were still intimate and gentle, though, feeling as though what they were experiencing was happening in slow motion.

God, Louis couldn't remember the last time he had ever felt so close and connected to Harry. He felt like the sun was something Harry built for him. Like he actually meant something to Harry and that Harry valued him and their relationship. 

Their emotions were palpable, being poured out from both their hearts as they became unified as one. A whole. There was music in the silence that would never stop playing. 

Soon they were a tangled mess of embracing limbs and sweet nothings. Louis was oblivious to the marks he had made on Harry's back. He was only focused on how Harry was making him feel. And he felt loved. And that's all he wanted from Harry. That, and trust. 

"Fuck, I'm close." Louis whispered still out of breath. Harry just nodded, his face being buried in Louis's neck which he was trying so hard not to mark with love bites. 

"Don't hold back." Louis smiled softly before not even a moment later was he unraveling as he came across his stomach. Harry kept going, though, until a moment later he hit his own orgasm and came into the condom. And it was in that moment that everything stilled. 

Louis laid back against the bed in exhaustion and Harry held himself up weakly, grinning lazily down at Louis. He slowly pulled out before removing his condom and trashing in it his bin beside his nightstand. He laid down before Louis and they both breath heavily to catch their breaths.

Louis turned and glanced at Harry's nightstand before reaching out for the Kleenex to clean himself up. After he was all tidied up Louis turned on his side and cuddled up to Harry. He wrapped his arm around his stomach and rest his head on his shoulder. Louis turned and looked up at him. 

"That was amazing." Harry grinned. 

"It was? You enjoyed it?" He wrapped his arm around Louis who nodded. 

"Did you?" Harry nodded back. 

"I did." Louis closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against Harry's chest, sighing contently. 

"I love you." Every time Louis told Harry he loved him Harry felt like he was hearing it for it the first time. It made him smile, it made his heart race, and it made him happy. He pulled Louis closer making him laugh softly. 

"I love you too." Louis whispered back softly before closing his eyes. He relished in the warmth of Harry's body, feeling so enthralled and so in love. After all, love cannot fit inside a theory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. 
> 
> Smut is not my forte, sorry about that. 
> 
> BUT if you liked this little story then great, let me know what you think, and if you didn't like it then still let me know what you think, in a respectful manner though please. 
> 
> In case anyone was curious, or may maybe no one cares, the title "String Theory" comes from the song "String Theory" by Les Friction which I highly suggest you listen to because it's a great song :) 
> 
> If I don't just end up deleting this then I will be editing it slightly later on, just FYI. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this.


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